I'll write your name!

Dear mother...

'You have the wrong person! It must be! My mother did nothing wrong!' I pray desperately. 'Please, my mother is not the one who you want to make so ill!' I pray with the faith that praying may actually help my problems. As a fool I believe in things that have never been proven to me. Maybe god exists, but I'm pretty sure he wasn't the one whom would make my dear mother so sick.

'I'm so sorry, but this desease is really bad. If we don't treat her, she will most likely die in less than half a year.' The doctor had said to me a week before. 'I will do whatever I can! How much does it cost?' I say full of panic. I cannot believe the answer I am about to get back. A sum of money I would never earn in my whole life. 'But doctor, I can't even pay for one month of treatment with such a high price.' I know the doctor can't really help me. It's not like he will give me discount or pay a part. My despair is so high that I do things I'd normally never do. I beg for hours. I later realised how much time I have been wasting, for both me and the nurses.

I look at my mother as I give her the bad news. My mother reacts devestated, just as I would have expected her to be. I also tell her the mountain of money the treatment would cost. At that moment mother's expression changes. It is as if she suddenly decided she was okay with dying. She smiled at me with a tear dropping from her chin and said to me: 'My dear Miguel, please, don't worry about me. Let us live happily in the time I have left.' At this point I start crying just like her. 'You should start living your own life! Find yourself a man or woman, I do not care, as long as you get as happy as I was with your late father.' She gave me a worried smile. 'You are old enough to start your own life now, my dear son. I will be proud of you, even when I live no longer.' 

I slam the table of our home's shrine and let out a big cry: 'WHYYYYYYYY?' I go upstairs to my room and let myself fall down on my bed. I plug in my earphones and come across a particular artist, 'Tay22'. I show a soft smile and say to myself: 'No matter what kind of shit I get into, there's always a Tay22 song that I can relate with.' I listen to the song and for the first time this week I relax a little. This song can perfectly capture my feelings and makes me feel a bit better. I fall asleep with the music on.