**
“Fuck Soph!” tears run down his soft cheeks and land on the sheets. “why do I have to be so pathetic I am fucking crying and I can’t do anything other than listen to them!” he drag his long nails down his cheeks so hard that it nearly scratch open at some places. I take his hands and force them down in my lap between my hands.
“Ash?” I say and try to get him looking at me. He stares at the blue painted wall in front of him. His eyes wide, his body shaking. “Ash”.
“I am not crazy I am not crazy” I hear him mumble under his breath with a scared look on his face. He has the same look on his face as his lip opens from his teeth and little blood run down his lip to his chin.
“Ash please tell me you are taking the pills” I ask him? he just have the same look on his face and let his teeth bite faster on his now bloody lip. I feel how tears go down my cheeks. He can’t go through this again please tell me this is just a terrible nightmare.
“you know it’s hard…it's hard… I-I I don’t under-s-stand howw can how can I be so stupid… what a vanilla house” he lets out shaky laughs and doesn’t stop.
“Ash please stop.. this isn’t you” I say with a broken voice as I look at him. This isn’t him this is the demon that blames everything on him. It’s a murder weapon that never should come out, the weapon that’s placed in the wrong place. Suddenly he jumps up from the bed muscles tensed.
“THIS IS ME CANT YOU SE THAT?! I AM A MONSTER AND EVRYWHERE IN THIS ROOM YOU CAN SE MY MURDER WEAPON! THE WHOLE ME AM FIRE AND I LET MY PARENTS BURN!” he screams. I know I shouldn’t be but I am afraid. Although I know the real Ashton I am afraid. It’s like everything dark pick the lightest the most innocent thing they can find and suck nearly all light from them till they’re begging to die.
“SOPHIE OPEN UP TO THE WORLD YOU CAN'T BE WITH SOMEONE LIKE ME NO ONE SHOULD BE WITH SOMEONE LIKE ME JUST DO YOURSELF A FEVER AND DRAG YOU OUT OF MY HELL IF YOU ARE IN MY LIFE YOU ARE THE PRISIONER THAT SOON WILL FEEL THE BURN! NOTHING GOOD CAN BE NOTHING GOOD CAN STAY”
“MY PARENTS WERE THE FIRST THING THAT DISEPEARD BECAUSE OF ME AND-D AND-D-A-“he hits the metal of the bed. I stand up and walk over to him even more tears streaming down my cheeks. I try to take his hand but he takes it away as fast as possible.
“NO NO STOP” he screams tears running down his cheeks as well. You can hear out in the hall that everyone is worried.
“NO I WON’T STOP! LISTEN TO ME ASHTON NOTHING THAT THOSE VOICES SAY TO YOU IS TRUE YOU ARNET A MURDER IT WAS A ACSIDENT THE FIRE WASN’T YOUR FAULT” I yell as calm as possible I can’t just let him believe something that aren’t true. Ashton sink down to the floor his back against the bed. I sit down next to him and take him into my arms. He cries in to my neck and clung into me as if I was the only thing to keep him sane.
“soo calm down Ash” he calms down little and then look up from my neck. I look down at him. this time it’s the same old Ash the only different is the hazel green eyes has little red in them from tears and his beautiful soft lips covered in blood, on his cheeks you can see the dried tears and small scratch marks. I place my lips on his forehead. Ash stares in front of us this time with soft eyes.
“Maybe the world would be a better place if I just disappeared” he says with normal but little raspy voice. My grip on him tightens as I hear the words.
“Don’t say so you if you weren’t here I don’t know what I would do” he just stays quiet.
“You know that I love you always” he says after a while and looks up at me.
“Yes” I say “and I love you forever”
**
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*IMPORTANT*
Hii
I don’t know guys is it bad bc I don’t know if I should delete it or.. yea
Love ox
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Love always Ash xx | a.i . au |
FanfictionLove always Ash xx You know what to say "Love forever Soph xx" - a story going on about a boy whos background is slowly killing him bit for bit with help from himself. - *warning* This story contains suicide, panic attacks and depression. -
