Dark Flower

tell

He laughed and got up. He took off his shoes, socks, and then took off his shirt and left them on the floor. He got back on top of me. And kissed me again.

"If you don't tell me I'll take off more. And I know you can't resist this. I've already learnt that." He said winking. I sighed.

"It's about what you said before we left your house." I answered. "Damnit. I can't say it while you're on top of me." I said. He got off of me and sat next to me on the bed. I kicked my shoes off.

"What did I say?" He asked.

"You said that you can make all the girls scream your name." I said. "I know it's stupid for me to say this and I just sound like some jelous girlfriend. And I know it was a joke but, I also know that it's probably true. And I'd be lying if I said it didn't feel like I got stabbed in the heart, hearing about other girls." I added.

"I understand why it'd hurt. And I probably shouldn't have said that. Cause it honestly was an asshole move to say that in frount of you. Or any time. I'm sorry." He said.

"Now, before we walked out of your room something was obviously wrong. What was it?" I asked.

"Because. Last night I was thinking. I now know the thing you tried to hide. And I figured the right thing to do was tell you mine." He said. "But I also know that you're gonna hate me for it." He added.

"I'd never hate you. You were there for me when I needed you the most and never judged me. So why would I judge you and not be there for you?" I reassured. "You told me that I can cry and scream about whatever I want and whenever I want, so you can do the same. I'll listen." I added.

"But this I'd different." He said. I could see him holding back tears. So I hugged him.

"I don't care. You held me and listened to me when I was upset. So I'll do the same for to. Please " I said. He let go and looked down. Scooting away just a little. He took a deep breath.

"I'm touble. I'm a troubled, teenage, junkie. That's all I am." He continued. "The only reason you can't tell is because I've gotten so good at hiding hangovers. Before you came I used to hook up with a shit tone of girls. When I'm at home and you're here or somewhere else I get wasted. I smoke pot. But the worst thing of everything is...." he couldn't even finish it. He started sobbing. I held him in my arms. Him sobbing on my shoudler.

"It's okay. You can tell me." I said quietly.

"I do fucking Heroin." He sobbed. My eyes widened. I swallowed my tears. I needed to stay stong. My heart sank. Those words. Coming from the mouth of my first love. I didn't know what to say. What could I say?

"Sh. Sh. We can get through this. I don't judge you. I know it's hard to get off of. And I know it's hard to admit. But we can get through this. I promise. I don't hate you." I said patting his back. He body was tightened up. "Cry as much as you want. I'm here. And I'm not going." I added. He caught his breath and sat up. He wiped his tears with his arm and calmed down.

"You're the first person I've ever told that to." He said in a gravely voice from crying.

"I'm glad you could trust me enough." I said. He held me in his arms tight and gave me small kisses on the top of my head. He then let go after a minute. I was lying down my knees bent up and my head resting on his lap looking up at the ceiling. He was stroking my hair. "Do you really want to go tomarrow?" I asked.

"Of course I do. I don't want you to stand far away from everyone alone. Cause I'll be right by you as you be antisocial." He said. I giggled alittle. How is it possible for him to change the mood to quickly?

"If it's okay and you don't have to, cause I understand if you don't want to. I mean-" I said.

"You're rambling again." He said. I sighed.

"If you want to, can we please spend another night together? It doesn't have to be here." I asked. He smiled.

"Of course. How about at my house?" He said. I nodded.