shawn mendes imagines

a carving to last a lifetime

She sat on the same park bench that Shawn had taken her to on their first date. The one where he put a blanket down on the wood because he saw pieces of wood sticking out of it and he didn't want her to get stabbed. The one where a couple had engraved their initials into the back of it and Shawn laughed because he thought it was so cheesy.

It was the same bench that he kissed her for the first time on a few weeks later. "What are we doing back here?" She asked, her shoulder slumping over at the sight of the old piece of wood that should have been torn down a long time ago.

"Hey, I thought we could have a picnic here or something!" He defended himself, pulling out a picnic basket from his car.

"As long as we can sit on the grass," she agreed. They did sit on the grass, their backs pressed against the bench and they threw grapes at each other and tried to catch them in their mouths but Shawn was the only one to catch one even though he tried to make it as easy as possible for her.

"I'm utterly stuffed," she groaned, her hands on her stomach. "I totally gained at least three pounds!"

"You look fine," Shawn told her. All the food was gone and they were looking out at the rest of the park where other couples were also eating and laughing and falling in love but she always thought her and Shawn's love story was the most beautiful of them all.

Right before they were going to leave, Shawn grabbed her wrist and swung her around. Her back was pressed to the back of the bench and she could feel the ratty wood digging into her skin but when Shawn kissed her against that bench, she didn't quite feel it anymore. She remembers pulling away from that spot and seeing those same initials she saw weeks ago and wondering if they had a kiss like that there too.

Six months later, Shawn carved their own initials into the bench. "I thought you said it was cheesy," she reminded him, crossing her arms over her chest.

"That was before I loved you," he mumbled, his tongue sticking out of his mouth in concentration as he carved a heart around the letters.

"You what?" She stuttered. Shawn didn't seem to realize what he had just said because he turned around to look at her with furrowed brows and concern flashed across his face when he noticed she was pale.

"What? Did I mess up?" He asked, looking back at the letters that were completely perfect and she shook her head when he looked back at her.

"You said that you loved me," she said slowly, still in the midst of processing the words herself. Shawn's eyes went wide for a moment and then he shrugged.

"Yeah. I do," was all he said before he continued carving. "You don't have to say it back if you don't-"

"I do," she cut him off. "I do love you." Shawn looked up at her and smiled sheepishly. His cheeks began to burn and turn red and she started laughing out of nervousness and her hands started to shake. He dropped the knife on the ground and he cupped her cheeks, kissing her just like he had kissed her the first time and they never finished carving their initials into that bench. The unfinished piece was still sitting there in half a heart.

It was at that bench when he broke up with her. When he said to her, "it just isn't working anymore."

"Why?" She choked. "What did I do?"

"Nothing. You didn't do anything. I just-" he breathed and ran his hand in his hair and looked away from her. Her eyes were pooling with tears and once again, her hands were shaking. To say the end was unexpected would be an understatement. They were happy. She was happy. "I just can't do this anymore."

"A relationship or me?" She asked just barely over a whisper, her voice cracking. He looked down at his lap as he tapped his finger against his thigh. He shrugged and that was her answer: it was her.