Every word that I said

'I remember when I first noticed that you liked me back'

Eleven and a half years ago.

'Are you going on the night out?' Joe asks Kenny, as he brushes his teeth. The pair of them share a flat, obviously paid for by the MET police. They are aware that their flat might be bugged, when Joe had met with his handler three months ago it was suggested that the flat was bugged.

'I'm not sure' the other man muses, looking up from the phone. 'I'm kind of tired.' Joe pulls a face.

'Come on Kenny, we haven't been out for ages.' The man dithers for a moment, scrunching up his face, debating if it would be worth it. 'Elena is going.' Joe teases, knowing that there would be no way Kenny would miss a chance to get closer to Elena.

'I'll go, but not because she's there.'

'Sure thing bro. We're pre-drinking at AJ's.' Kenny nods, hauling himself off of the sofa. 'How long will it take you to get ready?'

'If I have a quick shower, twenty minutes?' Joe nods, smirking to himself.

'Please don't be an embarrassment and wear shorts?'

'I did it once Joe.' Joe laughs at the frustration lacing his voice. 'The ONE time I wore shorts.'

'Do you even own jeans?'

'Fuck off' he yells, disappearing into his bedroom.

Before long, they are stumbling out of AJ's house, laughing. 'Awh man, it's been ages since my last night out' an unfamiliar voice states, as Joe looks over his shoulder.

'You went out last night, Gio.' Aj laughs,

'No, it was on Saturday, it's Tuesday today. See ages.' He drags out the e and Joe laughs. They stumble into the two taxis, Joe resting his head on Kenny's shoulder, not entirely sure what is happening. He's fucked and he's not sure where it went wrong? The vodka? Maybe, thought he would come to suspect, in the morning, that it was the tequila shots.

'Its my turn, to get the round it.' Joe tells everyone, taking in what everyone is saying. He sighs as he looks at the bar queue, deciding where to position himself, so that he had the quickest waiting time.'

'I'm first.' A voice, coming from the right of him, says. 'I've been here longer than you.'

'Okay' he drawls, trying to place the accent, clearly not from Manchester. 'Anyway, what's a pretty girl like you doing alone at the bar?' She flashes a grin at him, turning around and showing him a group of people.

'Apparently, it's my turn.'

'Snap' Joe matters, rocking on the balls of his feet, 'you having a good night?' She nods, leaning into the wall.

'Well it's just got a whole lot better.' Joes heart starts to race as she looks at him, smirking and turning around to face the bar. 'Please can I have four double vodka and cokes, one Jack Daniels shot, with coke.' She pauses, looking back at her friends, Joe suspects she's forgotten what they wanted, 'a Pornstar martini, two sex on the beaches and two red VK's.' Joe wants to laugh, all those alcoholic drinks and then a VK. Joe winces at the cost of all those drinks, wondering how she can afford it? She looks like a student, a very pretty student.

'Got something to say?' She demands, looking him straight in the eye.

'Are those VK's for you?' He teases, as she shakes her head.

'Nah mine is the sex on the beach.' Joe raises his eyebrows.

'Do you have a name?'

'Lucy.' She smiles, walking back to her group of friends.

Joe didn't think he would see her again, it is a large club and it would be easier to get lost. He's wrong, he's taken aback when someone starts to grind on him. His drunken mind goes along with it and soon he is entangled with the girl, in an unfamiliar bed.

'I lied.' The voice whispers, turning to face him. 'My name isn't Lucy, if you want to know it, you and I are going on a date.' She grins, placing a kiss on his lips, taking up his phone. 'Passcode.' In his post-sex haze, he mumbles, as he's met with a glare. 'Speak up.'

'12.' He pauses, at least he has the audacity to look embarrassed. '34.'

'Are you seriously telling me your passcode is 1,2,3,4.'

'Yes.'

That's how he finds himself outside Zizzis on the following Friday, waiting for the red-head who had captured his attention a few days previous. There was something about her, something about the way she walked, or the way he had to escape out of her bedroom window, something he hadn't done since he was 15.

'I'm Joe.' He smiles as she turns the corner, 'I was beginning to think you were going to leave me hanging.'

'I have to keep you on your toes.' She smiles, as if she knows the effect she's had on her, like this happens to her all the time. Sneaking a look at her one last time, he thinks that she probably does. Straighting up, he pulls on his shirt as he steps aside for her to enter the restaurant, 'Hi Joe, I'm Dianne.'

---

Present day

'So, when was it you realised that I was the girl you were looking for, why you were sent into the gang, in the first place?' He doesn't bother correcting her, he wasn't sent to find her, he was sent to bring down her family. 

'Not until I met your parents, after bowling.' Dianne fights the smiling threatening to spill, the bowling had been a disaster, but it had been fun. 'You never told me your surname and I have no reason to believe you were anyone else. You didn't use your full name in any of your social medias. I genuinely fell for you.'

'Why didn't you leave then?'

'I was selfish, I wanted you and I knew if I left then you wouldn't have me, if you found out and I would be dead. I was playing with fire, I guess.'

'You really wounded me.' Her choice of words doesn't go amiss with Joe, the fact she chose wounded over hurt, it made it far worse. It just added to the guilt, 'and you really hurt the girls.'

'I told you, I didn't mean to Dianne. When it started it was a bit of fun, I didn't mean for it to expand like it did. No one was supposed to get hurt, it just got out of hand. I might have been there to take down the drug empire, but I was in love with you.' He means he's still in love with her, but he didn't think it would help his cause, she hates his guts.

He's thought about her every day, his house is covered in pictures of them, family pictures. They were always in his find, they were his family. Whatever happened between them, he was their dad.

'Do the kids ask about me.'

'You hurt them' she tries to dodge the question, 'you really hurt them, not that you seem to care.'

'You know I do Dianne, I gave you my contact details. I reached out to you, you make the decisions.'

'Oh, I made the decision for you to leave.'

'You know that wasn't the case.'

'So, what's your next excuse, the next part of the Dianne Buswell humiliation show.' Joe sighs, closing his eye and taking a deep breath. 

A/N Thoughts?