Jason's Diary

Chapter 20

Lola's POV:

I sat next to my fathers bed, holding his hand, praying he would wake up again. But There was something else bothering me: since our fight, Jason didn't come back to hospital, and he didn't call or text me either. I hoped that he wouldn't do bullshit. I knew that Jason could get really aggressive, and I was pretty rude to him. Too rude? I started to feel more and more guilty. Sure, he had beaten my dad up but... He kinda did it for me. To protect me. I knew that he loved me. Plus, I hadn't told him that dr. Roberts is my dad, so he has every right to be mad on me. I bit my lip nervously, looking to the door, hoping it would open and Jason would walk in.

I looked at the ring Jason gave me. It got sad. I missed him and I didn't mean to be so rude.

Suddenly the door opened and Jason walked inside. His eyes were sad and he looked a bit confused, like he wasn't himself. I stood up and walked to him. He just stood there, looking outside the window, not saying a word.

"Jason?" I whispered. He didn't react. "Jase?" He still stood there, not moving. I hurt him, I knew it. I slowly walked closer to him, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him. I stroked his neck lightly with my fingertips. "I'm sorry baby. I didn't mean what I said, I was just mad. I love you okay?" I whispered. His arms hung there loosely, his eyes still glued on the window. I looked in his eyes. They were watery. Fuck. What have I done. I saw small tears rolling down his cheeks. I felt sadness filling me. "Jase... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you or to make you sad yesterday. Please forgive me." I kissed his cheek softly.

He sat down on the chair next to my dad's bed, putting his head into his hands. What the hell was wrong with him?

"Jason, don't worry, dad will be alright again." I cracked a smile, but he didn't even look at me. "Jason please tell me what's wrong with you. I already apologized baby I don't know what else I can do."

He sighed and looked at me. His face was pale, and his eyes still watery.

"Lola... I-" He cut himself off and sighed again. He stood up and scratched his neck violently. "I... Did something stupid yesterday... Something I shouldn't have done..." I walked closer to him and hugged him. "It's okay Jason. Dad will be okay." He pulled away. "No... You don't understand... It's not that thing with your dad..." I looked at him confused. "Not?" He shook his head. "What is it then?" He bit his lip nervously. "Jason please tell me what you did."

He looked at me. Somehow I couldn't take the way he looked at me. He looked so different. So breakable, so hurt, so on the edge, so... Not like Jason. It killed me to see him this way.

He ran his fingers through his hair, pulling at it. "Lola I..." He stopped, looking out the window again. God this was killing me. How worse could it be? What the fuck did he do? I walked even closer, wrapping my arms around his neck, making him face me. "Jason please. Tell me what you've done. How bad can it be?" "Very bad." "What did you do?" He wrapped his arms around my waist tightly.

"I was mad yesterday. Very. I went to the strip club yesterday with the guys to party and shit... There was our waitress Kayla. She sat with us and in the beginning we just talked but.. Then the thing got out of control..." His grip on me tightened. I gulped hard. "What did you do Jason?" "I.. I didn't mean to... It was all out of control and I was mad and didn't know what I was doing.. I'm so sorry Lola.." "What did you do Jason?" He took a deep breath, locking his eyes with mine. I saw tears building up inside of them. What the fuck did he do? Did he kill her?! Oh god. He killed her. I backed up. He looked at me. "You killed her, didn't you?!" He shook his head. "I wished I did." I ran out of patience. What the fuck did he do? I took a deep breath to calm down again. I stepped closer again. "Jason please tell me what you did. I can't stand this." "I.. Wanna kiss you one last time." He whispered. Wait. One last time?! What was going on?! His lips brushed over mine, I kissed him with all my love, I felt his tears rolling down our cheeks. He slowly broke the kiss, looking at me.

"I'm so sorry. Lola I... I cheated on you. With Kayla."