ALONE

ALONE - part 4

          ~at sabrina's house~

When we got to my house it was as usual, empty.

My dad was out working up to 16 hours a day just to support me and my mom while my mom was out drinking and hooking up with random strangers at the bar.

Just looking at how quiet and lifeless my house seemed made me want to break down crying.

I felt the tears start to fill up my eyes, when i felt Jahseh watching me.

I looked over at him.

"What...?" i asked him. My voice breaking.

"What's wrong," he said.

"Nothing i just-   i'm fine." i assured him.

He stepped a little closer, still staring at me.

"No your not. I can see the pain in your eyes." he said.

That's when i lost it. I broke down right infront of him.

I told him everything. About how my dad was always out working to support me and my mom while she would go out to drink and hook up with random guys.

I told him how alot of times my mom would come home drunk and become violent.

And about how my dad would come home tired and frustrated to see my mom trying to punch me.

How they would fight and yell and argue about all the money my mom was wasting on booze and men.

I told him about how he would make my mom leave the house whenever she was drunk just so we could sleep without having to worry about her hurting us.

I told him about my best friend and how she was my only support system. The only person i could count on and go to whenever my parents were having another fight.

And how she had to move to to the other side of the country bc of her dad's jobs.

Between tears i told him i felt like i had nobody. Like i didn't belong. Like i shouldn't be here.

He sat beside me and listened and understood every single thing i said to him.

When i finally stopped crying, i looked at him. He was sitting there silently. He looked like he was thinking about something.

He looked up at me and said, "I know how you feel. Every single day i wake up and wonder, 'Am i going to end it today? Or will i wait and suffer another day on this earth?"

I was surprised at how much we had in common.

"Thanks for listening to me Jahseh, your the first person to do that in a long time. Thank you." i said.

"No problem." he said, smiling a little.

I smiled back. I was really falling hard for him.

"Do you wanna come grab your book?" i asked.

"Sure." he said getting up.

"It's upstairs in my room." i told him.

We climbed up the stairs and headed into my room. He walked over to my bed and sat down. I laughed a little and he smiled his adorable smile.

I grabbed the book and sat down next to him.

I gave him his book and layed down on my bed. He layed down next to me.

We layed there for a few minutes until he got up and said,

"Hey can i ask you something..."

"Sure," i said. "What's up?"

"I was gonna go to the beach this weekend with my friend Stokeley, but he can't make it. Do you maybe wanna come with me...?" he nervously asked.