Ladies First (Zayn Malik) Book 4

Chapter 4

I stifle a yawn, shifting my weight back and forth, as we all stand on the stage. Miah was beside me practically vibrating with excitement. I didn’t understand how someone could be that peppy at 7 in the morning. I needed some coffee. Looking around, I noticed a lot of other people in similar situations. Some were worse, nursing a hangover from the night before. Having been underage, I hadn’t been allowed to drink but it appeared that might have been for the better. If competition was starting today, I didn’t want to have to worry about vomiting all over the judges.  Speaking of the devils, as soon as my mind thought of the judges, the doors opened and in they walked. A hush fell over the crowd as the judges took their seats, their eyes sweeping over the crowd in front of them.

“We don’t believe everyone standing in front of us has the potential to make it all the way in this competition so we are cutting some of you now to save you the trouble.” Simon starts. Cutting now? Before we have a chance to prove ourselves? A hum fills the room as people begin whispering to their neighbor, tension forming in the air.

“While you were partying last night, we were reviewing your audition tapes.” Demi explains.

“The music industry is brutal. We are only looking for the best,” Brittany adds.

“That’s not fair” a voice calls out from the crowd. Simon’s head immediately snaps to look at the person who had called out.

“Life’s not fair,” he said.

“We’ve cut about 50 of you. If I call your name please exit the stage immediately. There are cabs ready to take you to the airport or bus station.” L.A. Reid adds. I feel my stomach flip, a lump forming in my throat. Were they really cutting people before they could prove themselves? What if I got cut? What if it was all over for me here? Suddenly I wasn’t tired anymore.  I listened as the names were called out, each time praying that the next wouldn’t be mine. I watch as person after person bursts into tears when their name was called. Some tried arguing with the judges but it got them nowhere. Each and every one was escorted out of the arena. I see a few familiar faces called as I recognize people I’d talked to the night before. Some who were nice and others I wouldn’t be sad to see go even if I felt bad they’d been cut mercilessly. Finally it’s over and I’m relieved to see I’m still on stage. I’d survived the first cut. The crowd of over 200 had been diminished to around 150. I glance down at Miah who was shaking with relief and give her a wane smile. We were both safe for now. Carmen was also safe as far as I could tell. I hadn’t remembered hearing her name called, and sure enough, when I searched the significantly smaller crowd on stage, I managed to catch sight of her a couple rows away. She caught my eye and gave me a wink before turning her attention back to Simon who had begun speaking.

“Now Sean, our choreographer, is going to lead you through some dance moves. We aren’t looking to see who can dance the best; we are looking to see whom tries and whom, even if they can’t dance, will own it. Stage presence people.” Simon says. I have to bite my lip to hold back the smile as I think back to Carmen’s version of dancing last night. I watch as Sean leads us through some basic dance moves, doing my best not to trip over my or other people’s feet. From the quick glances I threw around the stage, I was definitely not the best but I didn’t appear to be the worst either. I saw a few people tripping over their feet, looking so embarrassed. I felt bad for those people. It was exactly what Simon was talking about when he meant just own it. Carmen was a prime example of that. It looked like she’d given up on Sean’s dance steps and instead was doing the snorkel. Simon was watching her, but instead of looking mad at her for not doing as she was told, he appeared to be quite amused with her.

Finally, we are split up into groups so we can perform the dance number in front of the judges where they can observe us in a smaller group. I watch Miah perform in the first group as she tries to follow along as best as she can.  She wasn’t the best dancer but she succeeded in not falling on her face. As she walked back to the sidelines, she gave me a hopeful smile. I nodded at her, returning the smile in assurance as we watched the next group perform. I was in group 4 so when it was our turn, I walked out onto the stage and took my spot. I glance over at Miah and she gives me a smile and a thumbs up. I smile slightly and the music starts and my attention is quickly taken over by counting out the beats and trying to remember the steps. The person next to me was fantastic and I hide a grimace as I realize they were probably making me look awful in comparison. I plaster a smile on my face and try to take a page out of Carmen’s book and put my own flare on the choreography. Finally it’s over and not a moment to soon. I head off stage, risking a glance at the judges who were conferring amongst themselves. A few minutes later, they’re done and the next group is up on stage beginning their dance. My heart starts pounding and I begin wondering what I’m doing here. Some of the people here were so passionate. They’d give anything for this. They had given everything for this. I was just a normal girl from Illinois. Did I really deserve this? I needed air. I look around as I’m smothered by the crowded room. I see a back door to the alley and hurry toward it, throwing it open and stepping out, gulping in the fresh air as I try to get the panic attack under control. I sit down and put my head between my knees trying to get my heart rate under control.