Ladies First (Zayn Malik) Book 4

Chapter 43

“Shit. Shit. Shit” I hear someone whisper, the sounds of sheets rustling and the bed shifts as the person climbs out. I blink open my eyes, confused, wondering why Em was upset. Instead, I see Perrie scrambling around the room, throwing on her clothes. Suddenly it all rushes back to me. The weeks since I’d last seen Emily, the loneliness I’d been feeling, the mistake. I’d run into Perrie at the Brit Awards and she’d seemed down so I’d invited her out for a few drinks. She told me that her boyfriend and she had broken up and one thing led to another and here I was waking up with her in my room. A sense of dread washes over me and I’m suddenly on the verge of an anxiety attack. Emily. What was I thinking? Perrie looks over wide-eyed seeing me awake.

“You can’t tell anyone” she rushes. “I’m not going to be that girl. I don’t want to be the person who someone cheats on with”

“But Emily. I have to tell her,” I say, the guilt already eating away at me.

“Please Zayn” she pleads. “She’ll break up with you. You know she will. Can’t we just pretend like this never happened?” The thought of breaking up with Emily is excruciating. Perrie’s right. It’d be better to pretend like it never happened. I nod my head, feeling sick from guilt. A look of relief washes over her.

“You should leave out the back. Less risk of being seen” I say, sliding out of bed. I throw on a pair of sweatpants before following her to the door. As she steps out side, she pauses, looking back at me.

“I’m really sorry Zayn” she begins but I just close my eyes and shake my head.

“Please Perrie, just go,” I say. I hear footsteps, but don’t open my eyes until they’ve faded away. I close the door, a whirlwind of emotions raging through me. Guilt, shame, anger. I grab the lamp off the table, chucking it across the room and it explodes into pieces as it hits the wall. Fifteen minutes later, the place looked like a warzone. Pretty much anything that could be broken was. Sinking to the ground, my head in my hands, the tears finally spill forth. What had I done?

“Zayn?” I hear as someone knocks on the door. “You in there?” The doorknob turns and someone walks in. Without looking up, I know it’s Harry. He lets out a low whistle as he examines the room. “Looks like there was a stampede of elephants” he muses before his eyes finally land on me. I hadn’t moved. “I was going to ask if you were alright since you missed studio today, but judging from the wreckage, I’m going to assume no” he says, walking over and kneeling next to me. “What’s going on?” I look up into his unwavering green eyes.

“I—“ my voice cracks and I can’t continue.

“I’m calling the lads,” Harry says, standing out and pulling out his phone.

“Wow and I thought I was messy” Louis comments twenty minutes later as he walks in. His grin instantly disappears when he sees me sitting on the couch where Harry had managed to drag me.

“What’s going on?” Niall asks, stepping in behind Louis, soon followed by Liam.

“What did you do Zayn?” Liam asks instantly, eyeing up the mess.

“I messed up” I manage. “I messed up bad” The boys are instantly around me, waiting to hear an explanation.

“I cheated on Emily” I say and the story pours out like a waterfall. Trying to stop them would have been like putting a cork in a geyser. I run out of words and trail off into silence as the boys all stare at me in shock. The next thing I know, a blinding pain shoots through my cheek. I look up in shock to see Liam wrestling a struggling Niall away from me. I tenderly touch the already bruising spot on my cheekbone.