The Closet Chronicles

5. Open a Crack

"Mom! Jennifer and I are going downstairs!" I yelled as we walked into the door after school.
"Alright, hon! Hi Jennifer!" my mom replied.
"Hi, Mrs. Baugher!" My mom absolutely adored Jennifer, which was excellent for me, because it helped with the illusion of my heterosexuality.
We got downstairs, and plopped down on my bed.
"What episode are we on again?" I asked.
"We are watching episode three for the fifth time tonight."
"I love the maxi challenge in that episode!" I turned on the TV, and we laughed at the sassiness of the queens.
Approximately thirty seconds after the episode ended, my mom called us up for supper.
"Hey kids!" She said once we got upstairs. She had a very bubbly attitude. "Hope you're hungry!"
After we had all dished out, my parents started making conversation about the news, and the weather, and any other boring thing they could think of.
"Did you hear about the boy who got killed by the snake?"
"Serves him right. I heard he went to a gay inclusive school."
"Did you hear about the cyclone?"
"No deaths, but some houses got blown down."
"Poor souls." And the conversation kept dragging on in every direction, until it was time to bring out the peach cobbler.
"So Jamie," My father said. "What do you think needs to be changed about your school? I'm debating joining the parent council next year."
"I mean, it's alright. It can be a little uncomfortable at the heterosexuality talk each week, because I'm g-". At that point, not only did I stop myself, but I got a kick in the shin from underneath the table.
"Because you're what?" my mother gasped, her eyes wider than saucers.
"Uhhh... gay! You know, happy! It is such a dark and scary talk, and I'm such a bubbly guy!" My mom let out a huge sigh of relief, and my dad let go of the table, which he was squeezing out of fear and anger.
"Oh thank god. For a moment I thought you were gonna tell us that you're a fag! Thank god we don't have to worry about getting you schizo meds!" I looked at Jennifer, tears in my eyes.
"What's wrong, son?" my dad asked.
"Oh, uh, I can't believe you thought I could be a homo! That's so insulting. I was so surprised, I banged my knee on the table. That's what happened all right! Can Jen and I take our cobbler to go?" I was desperate to leave the table at that point.
"Sure. Take some ice cream too, guys," said my mom, plopping two giant scoops of old fashioned vanilla into each of our bowls. "Eat up!"