Through The Dark || Harry Styles

12. HARRY

HARRY

When I open my eyes it takes me a moment to remember I'm in my old room. The same sight I saw every morning for close to eighteen years flashes in front of me as I blink two, three times and stretch out my muscles with a grunt.

I can't remember what time it was when Lucy and I finally fell asleep after watching the movie but I know it must have been close to four in the morning.

Immediately, I know she isn't beside me anymore and the heavenly smell wafting from the kitchen suggests that she is cooking.

Sitting up I run a hand through my hair, trying to stop my mind from wandering to how she felt intertwined me with under the sheets. It's not the first time we have slept in the same bed or room, but it's the first time she hasn't built a pillow fort between us or shoved Lola in the middle.

I swing my feet onto the carpet below, the feeling of being in this room and my morning routine is so familiar that it seems strange I forgot all about it. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a figure at the door.

"Hey, sleep okay?" I croak to Lucy.

"Fine, thanks sweetheart," my mum's voice makes me jump.

"Oh! Hey Mum, great. Sorry it's so late, I'm getting up now, where's-"

"She's in the kitchen. You were right, she's an amazing cook."

I don't know why I feel proud of this.

"Harry," she says in a voice I've heard too many times and she sits down at the edge of the bed, her tone wiping the smile from my face. "Be careful, son."

"Careful of what?" I try and laugh off but she stays serious.

"I came in here this morning to let Lola out into the yard," she says.

I bite the inside corner of my lips. Seeing us together in bed must have looked terrible.

"Nothing's happening between us, Mum," I tell her honestly and she smiles softly.

"Look, honey, you are both dealing with so much right now and I understand that it's important to have someone to lean on. You are lucky you have each other." Mum pauses to choose her words carefully. "It can be easy to get feelings confused when you are both grieving so badly. Sometimes you can be trying to fill a void and there is nothing wrong with trying to find comfort in one another, but-"

Her voice lowers further and my heart skips.

"But, Harry, you and Lucy seem to have a real bond. I'd hate for something to happen that one of you to regrets."

One of us.

2 Years Earlier

My thoughts are drifting as we mindlessly watch the flight attendants wave their arms in formation, demonstrating to the rows of uninterested faces what to do in an emergency.

My seatback is upright, my tray table stowed, my bag in the overhead locker.

I always figured that these procedures are just for insurance purposes; to prove to everyone that the airline staff are prepared for anything when in reality, if the bloody plane was crashing there is no way everyone will be calmly bracing against the seat in front of them and removing their shoes before they exit onto the inflatable slide.

If the plane is going down, then it's going down.

No point stressing about things before they happen.

The cabin crew make their final checks and Jake shuffles around, already uncomfortable in the seat next to me and I laugh as he repositions his new neck pillow with unicorns on it. He grins back, still finding his choice of pattern over the "boring navy one," hilarious.