Through The Dark || Harry Styles

4. HARRY

HARRY

I decided I didn't like Lucy the moment she picked Jake and me up from the airport and he officially introduced me to his new girlfriend. He had been visiting me in San Francisco, years ago and I had flown back to London with him to surprise my folks

I remember her running up to us in the arrivals hall, people everywhere, but none more frantic than her. She was relieved we had landed safely because the flight had been delayed an hour and she rushed that she, "was sick with worry."

She held a hand out and greeted me like we were in a business meeting.

Lucy is beautiful; classic girl next door, with ashy blonde hair that falls to her shoulders and a smile that captivates you. Despite the warmth of her features, there is something rigid about her. Anxious, even.

I thought it was weird she didn't hug him. In fact, I barely ever saw them touch.

She is so highly strung, too regimented and she screams high maintenance with each manicured nail and perfect cashmere sweater.

She's one of those people who has a "spot" for everything in her house and nothing is ever out of place, no act spontaneous. The wedding had a minute by minute scheduled for God's sake.

It's annoying.

But, despite all of this, Jake loved her and I supported that. He always spoke like the sun shone out of her arse and to be honest, I felt like that only enabled her neurotic behaviour. She is nice, she's a nice person, but I've always had this niggling feeling like they weren't right for each other.

Regardless of my opinion, she doesn't deserve this from Amy. Or Jake. I don't know what the fuck he was thinking.

I wanted the pain of his death to go away, and my wish was granted, except now it's been replaced by blood boiling anger. The worst part is, Jake's not even here for me to yell at.

I didn't sleep a wink last night, Lucy's small, "Goodbye," was plaguing me, along with the guilt of knowing the level of betrayal that is coming her way and her having to go through it alone.

Insomnia kept me on edge as the early hours passed and instead of silent movies playing through my mind of all the good time times Jake and I had, all I could think about was that I didn't know the guy who I thought was the closest person to me.

He had been living a lie, and now he is gone I can't even confront him. We can't fight about it and move on. I'm stuck forever in a place where he has done the wrong thing, without him being able to explain, or justify, or defend his shitty decisions.

Then there is the issue of the baby; the one inevitably coming. I imagined the birth of his first child going a little differently. With his wife, for starters.

My mind is reeling over the fact Lucy is already coping with so much, only to be faced with the reality of the two people she loves most in the world stabbing her in the back. One from beyond the grave she is mourning over.

I hear her dog bark before I get the chance to knock and I can hear her footsteps as I run a nervous hand through my hair, quickly tapping my knuckles on the door.

I don't know why I feel responsible for Jake's mistake, but I feel burdened with a sense of duty or something, not to leave her totally on her own to deal with this mess those arseholes have created... and at the lowest point of her life.

To be honest, after seeing the state she was in yesterday, I'm actually fearful of what she might do when she finds out. And she will find out.

"Harry?"