Because of John (Teen pregnancy)

Because of John|chapter 16|

I became dizzy as the lady spoke of John and his condition. I honestly could no lose him and I don't need all this stress on me while I'm pregnant. As the tears began to rapidly fall down my cheeks, my head began to pound and my heart started racing. I screamed in pain as I fell to the floor, dropping my phone and the world around me going black. I can't lose John, I can't be a single mom. 

I called my mom immediately and told her what happened to John. Since she works in the ER I knew she would be there to treat him. I called Riley and told him and asked him to please bring me to the ER. I had to be with John. I couldn't bear losing him, much less bringing a child into this world alone. Riley pulled up and I hopped into his mustang, trembling with fear. 

"Hey, how is he, what did the lady on the phone tell you?" he asked 

"she just said he had been in an awful car accident. the roads are wet and its been pouring rain all morning so I'm assuming he couldn't see? I don't know, Riley, I can't lose him, he has to be okay. I cannot stress that enough. I cannot bring this child into the world without him and I damn sure can't grieve him right now. I will lose this baby and I know it." I said freaking out.

"I know, look its gonna be okay, he's in good hands, mom is going to make sure he's taken very good care of, you know that."

"I know, I just can't help but prepare for the worst."

we rode the rest of the way in silence. I laid my head against the window and watch the rain fall as my thoughts raced back and forth. I imagined my life without John, our babies life without him, my future without him. I sobbed uncontrollably, my eyes hurt and my chest ached. how could this possibly be happening. how could I be about to lose the love of my life. 

we arrived safely at the hospital. I ran in and immediately asked where John was. 

"ma'am you can't go back there, he's not stable yet."

"like hell I can't, let me see him, he's the father of my child and the love of my life PLEASE" I half sobbed half screamed as I fell to my knees, Riley catching me. 

"shh its gonna be okay, well be able to see him soon." Riley said helping me stand

"mom, let me see my mom now! I need to know how he's doing damnit someone get my mom do something!"

"give me just a minute baby, ill see if she can step out a moment." 

I couldn't breathe. every part of my body was freaking out. I needed to know if he was okay, I needed someone to tell me something so I could calm down for 5 minutes. I sat in a chair next to Riley, squeezing his arm as I cried. tears slipped down my face, I knew it was going to be a long day. after about 10 minutes my mom came out to the waiting room. 

"mom! please tell me he's okay, please" I cried 

"he hasn't been here long and were doing the best we can. from what I can see so far, he had a pretty bad wreck. he was hit head on by another driver who was driving drunk who is also here. he has a broken arm, his leg is shattered in 4 places, he has a concussion from what we could see so far and what we were told by paramedics." I sobbed uncontrollably, her words barely made any sense "Blake, baby, I am so sorry and I love you but it doesn't look good right now. he has a lot of  internal bleeding, he's lucky to even be alive. we are going to take good care of him and make sure he's able to come home to you soon. ill let you know when you can come see him." she said, kissing my forehead and walking back into the ER, leaving me, dying in Rileys arms. 

At 2:30pm, mom finally came out and gave us an update. I don't remember much of what she said. something about his heart, some internal bleeding, he's in a coma. he was on his way to ICU from surgery to repair his leg and to reduce some swelling he was having in his brain. she said I should be able to visit him, around 3:30. Riley left to go hang out with Avalon, leaving me alone in the emergency room. I watched as families came in, pregnant moms in labor, children having asthma attacks and the occasional crackhead. I sat outside the ER doors and watched as the rain slammed onto the pavement and the lightening bolted across the sky. I wanted to be anywhere but here right now, waiting to see the love of my life and find out if he was going to make it. 

As I sat outside I thought of John, then his parents. had anyone called and told them that their son was in the hospital? I got my phone out and immediately called his mom. 

"Blake, hey darlin how are you its messy outside today isn't it?"

I cried into the phone as she spoke. she had no idea..

"Blake, what's going honey is everything okay, is the baby okay?" 

"No, its John" I cried "he was in a car accident this morning heading to school, a drunk driver hit him head on, he's at the hospital now, Im so sorry I didn't call you I thought you knew." 

"oh my god, is he okay? we're on our way right now! 

"hes in the icu, room 207." 

I walked inside and got in the elevator to go up to see John. I am so nervous to see him, what he looks like. as the elevator doors open, I see John laying in a bed across the room. I make my way over to him and I hit my knees. tears flowing non stop I grab his hand and hold it. 

"oh John, baby, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry" I repeated over and over, gasping for air between sobs. no words could equal the amount of pain I felt in this moment. I wanted to simply pass away. As I squeezed johns hand I hear the elevator open and his moms whails as she steps out and rushes down the hall to see her son. I stand up to move out of the way so his parents can have a moment and as I stand up, I could feel my head get dizzy and my body hit the floor again.