Heroes

002

"how are ya, pops?" I asked, a small smile playing at my lips. without missing a beat he stepped forward and hugged me so close like he always used to. squeezing till the pain went away. "oh Jessie I'm sorry for everything". pops answers wishing he could take the last few years back.

"Its jess now pops and I was wondering f I could stay with you for a bit?" I questioned him, hoping he would take me in.

"Jessie, sorry jess urgh you have to understand now that things have changed. I'm not the same guy you remember me as. you can stay as long as you need you'll just need to take the couch until I sort out a bed is that okay?"  he mumbles out, talking to himself more than me.

coming back into my dad's life I guess I couldn't expect the world, deep down my biggest fear was that he'd moved on though. maybe he had a wife and a new family to take care off. that thought, however, was quickly forgotten when I noticed the absence of a wedding ring.

after talking a while about Ohio and my life there. we finally started to make a move from the police station into Hoppers police truck. pulling my cardigan a bit tighter because of the evening breeze I craved a cigarette. maybe it was because of all the stress from tonight or maybe it was my addiction catching up to me. " do you mind if I have a quick cig?"

I spoke, pulling a cigarette out of my Marlborough reds carton. " didn't know you smoked" hopper stated harshly almost ashamed of his daughter's actions whilst also hypocritically pulling out one of his own and lighting it.

Not a second later I responded with " there's a lot you don't know about me Hop, look around you. appreciate what you have. nothing will be the same in a year". taking a long drag I watched his face turn in remorse.

"Okay, okay enough with the dramatics, let's go home" pops nervously laughed. jumping into the truck everything started to feel a lot more daunting. was this really what I wanted? should I just have stayed with Diane in Ohio?

as soon as we reached the cabin my questions were answered. first, hopper walked in taking off his hat and hanging up his jacket. I shortly followed, duffel bag loosely hanging over my shoulder.

hopper took off his gun holster placing it on the side and silently got a bear from the fridge whilst I awkwardly stood in a corner by the door. it almost felt like he was creeping around by how sneaky he was acting.

that's when I noticed the half ate eggos on the kitchen side next to two ready meal dinners. someone else was here. "hey, what did we talk about" hopper called out as he sat down on one of the dining room chairs. all that could be heard was a little girl mumbling "no signal it's eight, one five, you're late".

I knew I shouldn't feel pushed out but it seemed like I had been replaced. growing up I was always close to my dad and knowing that he had another daughter all this time without even trying to keep in contact with me when he moved out of Ohio stung.

"yeah I urgh lost track of time ill signal next time, alright?" hopper stuttered out glancing in my direction. "and urgh it's eight fifteen, not eight one five" he softly spoke as the little girl who couldn't have been older than 12 sat down in the other chair.

I had to admit she was cute with small ringlets falling infant of her face and an innocent smile that could fall anyone. "el id like you to meet someone" pops said gesturing towards me. I then took the hint to walk out of the dimly lit corner and towards el.

"Hi my names Jess, I'm your sister" I spoke as gently as I could trying not to startle the child. "sister?" she questioned looking side to side between me and hopper. you could almost see the cogs turning in her head. " she used to live in Ohio with her mum but she's come to live with us now, El" hoper said almost beaming.

eleven just smiled and waved at me. hopper started to roll his sleeves up like he used to "now what did we talk about dinner first then a desert, always... that's the rule yeah".  he started to lean closer to el make sure she understood. "yes" and with that, they started to eat there dinner like a little happy family.whilst this was all happening I had sat myself down on the sofa tucking my knees into my chest out of habit and just watched them. it was a kind of melancholy feeling watching your father be so happy with a daughter when he abandoned you to grow up with your drug addict of a mother.

not that he knew what had happened in Ohio.

after they had eaten hopper promptly put el to bed, tucking her in and laying a kid upon her head as he had always done to me. than he came and sat next to me on the couch, wrapping an arm around me as I played my head upon his shoulder.

"you know I thought about you everyday jess: what you'd look like, what kindle friends you would have even what college you'd want to go to" hopper whispered, almost trying to make up for not being there. " please don't make me go back" I begged looking him in the eyes, worry evident on my face.

"never" he uttered, giving me a small kiss on the head and a side hug. "I'm going to enroll you in school tomorrow and take care of all the legal work but until then feel free to stay put in the cabin with el."

"don't worry, she grows on you"

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Oof are we all likening edgy jess because I have big angsty dreams for her :) x