The Photographer ||j.b.||

Chapter 13

Sophia

As the sun raises the lights starts peaking through the grey curtains and everything takes a form. I haven't slept all night, this bed feel enormous without Zayn by my side. I've rarely slept in here by myself and having to deal with this is heartbreaking to me. The whole night I was staring at the sky that was full of millions of stars through the little space I've left open between the two curtains. My sleep deprivation causes me being like a living dead and not to have the power to even get off the bed.

I have to really push myself to finally get up and start getting ready for work. I throw on just a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt and decide that it's good enough. I'm not in the mood to do a single thing, let alone get dressed up and put on a full face of makeup.

As the smell of coffee fills the kitchen I place my elbows on the marble counter and take deep breaths trying to keep everything in because I'm about to burst into tears one more time. Who lives with the person who cheated on them after so many years? Why do I do this to myself and don't just book a room at a hotel to stay at? No! This apartment is mine as much as it is his, there's no way I'm leaving it unless I find a place to stay.

I pour some coffee in a mug that I get from the top cupboard in front of me and slowly walk to the balcony and take a seat on the white couch. I rarely sit here but this early in the morning the sky looks magical from here and it's just soothing. The noises of the town that is slowly waking up are heard from right under and the sounds that used to be so calming to me seem to be just annoying now. I try and ignore them and finish my coffee in complete peace thanking God that Zayn doesn't wake up if his second alarm doesn't go off and I don't have to deal with him before I go to work.

I rush to pick up my things and after locking the bedroom and throwing the key in my purse I take the elevator down to the garage. After so long I have to actually drive myself to work and it feels so new not to have him driving me, but that's life, you have to learn not to rely on anyone else. I leave the building and as Zayn and my problems stay behind Justin's memory and the way he treated me, come to the surface.

I hate him for blaming me for everything wrong in his life. He was the one who insisted to take me to his place and then he was the one who brought his ex there. She insulted me and treated me like an animal and then they both blamed me for their fucked up relationship. It was a mistake to get close to him again and I've made up my mind about what I'll do.

I have to stay focused on my job and try to find a new place to live. I can afford to stay by myself and if it wasn't for my relationship with Zayn that's what I would be doing. So, I need to get a realtor to find me a place and after that, I will never talk to any of them again and just heal my wounds from the past events.

I get to my studio and the first thing I do is to start packing my equipment for the photo shoot I have with a big magazine at the Bradbury Building downtown. After getting everything in the car and texting my assistant that we'll meet there I drive straight to Starbucks, grab an iced coffee and soon I'm back on the road. The traffic is killing me and I just want to get out the car and start cursing everyone around me, but I don't and after thirty daunting minutes, I'm finally there.

The photo shoot goes incredible and everyone is so cooperative that I actually enjoy my job again after quite some time. It's easy to work with Lena, the editor-in-chief, and the model we have with us is just the sweetest girl I've ever worked with. My mind really escapes from my problems and it's nice to see that the thing I love the most in my life can overcome everything else.

On my way back to the studio I'm actually singing along to an old Kesha song without worrying about anything for once lately. When I'm done putting everything back in place the sun is shining bright and I'm already late for my coffee date with Lilly.