(Alexis' pov)
************
Its been very quiet recently. The chat isn't as active. Maybe everyone is just busy with their videos and stuff. But I don't know.
Its been much longer than weeks since I've last heard from Aksel. And it's not like he went on a trip somewhere, or else he'd talk nonstop about how excited he is.
I'm not sure what's happened, and I'd really like to know, I'm getting a little worried.
I've texted him, many times actually. And that may seem annoying because he could just be taking a break, I know social media can really affect your mental health, and he really does seem to be a big advocate for that, he was always telling us to take care, so maybe I should just leave him alone.
But I don't know, something seems off, he'd tell us if he was taking a break. It just seems like he disappeared out of nowhere.
I sighed deeply, thinking too much is always a bad thing. Maybe I'll text him again, or wait, I should just let him be, I don't want to bother him.
I'm gonna go get dinner now.
(Aksels pov)
************
I haven't left my bed for awhile.
This isn't like me, I don't really feel like me anyway.
And I know it seems dramatic, nobody has a heartache to this extent. And I really could just tell him, but somethings stopping me, the distance, the others opinions on it, and of course, he's not gay.
I mean, he never really disclosed that he's straight, but he's only ever dated girls. And I don't want to hurt him somehow, by telling him. Because if he doesn't like me back, then it'd ruin our friendship. And I don't want to feel anymore alone than I already do, I don't think I could take it.
And even if we dated, there would be immediate problems, the distance especially. I mean, I would move to his place, but it already seems so full. And I don't think he'd really want to move to my place, he'd be far from his family by a long distance.
Why am I even thinking about if he liked me back, obviously he doesn't, why in the world would he like me back? He deserves better anyway.
My phone has been tucked into the bottom of my dresser, I had turned off my ringer and notifications, but even then if I entered an app, I'd have a million texts, and I don't know if I could answer any of them, so I feel guilty.
It's been, actually I don't know how long its been since I last talked to anyone.
I mean, I really could just talk to someone, say hi or something, just to let them know I'm not dead.
I tugged open my dresser drawer and pushed away all the clothes covering my phone.
Shit, who am I even supposed to text? Does anybody actually care whether or not I left? I feel like they're probably just faking it, they don't really mean it when they say they're "worried". If I texted anyone, they would probably just think I'm being overdramatic, anyway.
Scrolling through my phone was getting boring, nothing really matters when I'm feeling like this, I guess.
...
I set down my phone and took a deep breath.
I have to stop feeling like this, it fucking sucks.
I have to get out. I'm going for a walk. A walk outside to the park. It's a little while away, so that'll give me enough time to clear my head a bit.
Looking over to my right, my yellow hoodie hung off of the arm of my chair, I carefully stepped over the junk that had spread about my room.
I slipped it on, picked a beanie up from the floor and put that on.
As I was about to leave the room, I realized that it was too sunny at the moment to wear a hoodie. Whatever, I'll keep it on anyway.
I walked through my house slowly on the way to my doorway, I'm not sure why. It's not like I'm scared or anything. What would I be scared of even?
I took a small step outside my house, the fresh evening air shifting through my body. It was soothing, the atmosphere around me was joyful and easy.
I continued walking, the grass was greener, the sky was bluer, and the world felt colourful. For a second, I even forgot what I was sad about.
