(Aksels pov)
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Why did I do that? Why did I block Alex?
In a moment of blind fear, sadness, and guilt, I had to cut him off completely. I didn't want to talk, I didn't want him to keep texting me, I didn't know what to do. Every one of his words stung like needles sticking into my sides, and much like a balloon, I popped.
I can't take it anymore, he's my obsession and it's not healthy. Its shameful and embarrassing for me, I shouldn't feel like this just because of a crush on a boy who will never like me back, anyway. I need a break, a break from him. Maybe I'll unblock him later, once I'm in a better place and ready to talk about my emotions with him, and the others.
My heart can only handle so much, after all. Once I think myself through, I will come back more willing to speak and tell them what really went on in my head the past month and a half.
For now, I'm on a break. I need to accept my emotions, I need to go through this horrible feeling, and I need to overcome it, because I really don't need this kind of hurt, It's bad for my career, for my friends, and for my mental state. I'm on a break.
(Alexis' pov)
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There's a sort of strange feeling in my stomach. I don't think I'm sick, though. I'm not sure what it is, it's not nice is all I know. What is it really that just happened with Aksel? And what did I do wrong? He didn't talk to me for longer than a month, and even before that he didn't seem too well, he was acting off. And now, all of a sudden he was scared to see my name, and when I tried to text me he blocked me.
I checked all social medias, he blocked me on everything.
Why? The pit of my stomach hurts, and my throat feels knotted, and my bones ache.
Did I just lose my bestfriend?
I think it wouldn't be as terrible if I knew what he was mad at me for. I really just want to know the truth. I don't care how hard it is to hear, whatever it is that I had said or did to hurt Aksel, of course I never meant to hurt him, I could never, ever hurt him on purpose. I love him too much for that.
So whats wrong?
Curled up on my chair in my room, I felt my throat start to tug, I knew what was coming, but I still tried as hard as I could to hold it in. My eyes started to burn as they filled with tears, my sight went blurry with every one that swelled.
Eventually, as I kept thinking of the situation, I broke. Two giant streams of tears traveled down my cheeks, my heart hurt terribly, and I don't know what to do about it. I feel so, so alone, it's like nothing and nobody exists other than Aksel and I. I can't believe what had just happened, in a split second I had lost him. Him and his beautiful fucking face and beautiful fucking personality. I want him back.
Maybe this is just a joke though, a prank, a hurtful one at that, but how does that explain his absence online for the last month and a half? I want to know what happened and, most importantly, if he's doing okay, if he's in pain then I don't really know what to do with myself. I don't want him to be.
The tears from my eyes continued to fall down, sliding down my chin and into my lap. I didn't even bother to wipe them away, I felt so stagnant and numb. My heart feels like it's not beating at all. I want him back so badly, my best friend in the entire world, Aksel.
If only I knew what was going on, it wouldn't sting so horribly.
