"They say the good die young that's the truth, my nigga floating up in heaven now and that's the proof." - Yo Gotti
157680000 seconds, 2628000 minutes, 1825 days, 260 weeks, 59 months, five years is how long I actively got to experience the love of my life in ways that I never thought I'd be blessed enough to have.
But today I didn't understand. I don't understand, and I don't know if I want to understand how the man that I love the most was living one moment and gone the next. He always said to me "Amai baby, in the words of John Lennon 'life is something happens when you're busy making plans' so live and cherish every moment we spend not only together, but apart." And I never understood what Jelani meant until this moment.
Today I was supposed to be telling Jelani that we had finally done it! We were finally getting the little angel we prayed to God for and he or she came from the growing love that we had for each other unlike what we had growing up.
In the span of our five year relationship we've become one another's fitting piece to a puzzle.
I felt love, light, and pure joy when we were in one another's presence and now I'll never feel that again.
My best friend, my homie, lover, and comic relief was stripped away from me all in the blink of an eye.
Today we were supposed to be celebrating our fifth year anniversary and during that time I'd be telling him that this time next year we'd be parents, but I wasn't gifted that right...
As Jelani and I were going through the city on our traditional carriage ride, he was shot. Before I could say "YES!" to the question I've longed to be asked he was taken from me, and I know we aren't supposed to question God but this makes no sense.
As my love bled and fought for his life and our future together as a whole, I sat frozen in shock and unaware of what to do next. His blood laid on my finger tips while my tears stained his body. I called out to everyone for help and it seemed that none came quick enough because in the matter of a minute Jelani let out his last breathe. My person was no longer with me in the flesh.
Jelani Hassan Adebayo is this best man I've ever known. A humanitarian, entrepreneur, and friend to everyone. No matter your situation he was always willing and able to help those who were afraid to ask. We had a plan a nice one in fact: we were both going to claim the rights of our neighborhood and we were doing just that. Jelani and I are only 23 and 24, with me being 8 months younger than him, but we've made lucrative business investments and found a lesson in everything we've been through in life. Not only were we one another's equals in business, but I was his rib and he was my spine.
I can't picture having to tell my unborn child everything their father was, and feeling a sharp pain in my chest with every word I say.
Right now I'm numb and unaware but Jelani's life won't be in vain and he will forever be proud of the Legacy he left behind.
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FYI: This is my first time actually writing something that's not a quote with some nice words so lemme know how it is!
