POLARIODS AND PILLOWS.

sixteen

when jimin awoke, he felt warmth.

wrapped up in his white fluffy sheets, hugging his stuffies, sunlight peaking through his windows while he heard the faint sing of birds in early morning. it was blissful, waking up in such a calm state, laying in his bed with yoongi's arms wrapped around his waist.

wait.

jimin's eyes opened quickly as memories of the last night settled in his mind, though only remembering seeing yoongi for the first time in weeks. he looked over at the arm snugged around him, his eyes widening when they landed on yoongi himself, sleeping peacefully next to him.

oh, fucking hell.

jimin ran his fingers through his hair in disbelief, sighing in exasperation at himself. "why am i such a fucking idiot—" he thinks to himself. he slowly climbed out of bed, tempted to pace but tries to keep quiet. he doesnt want yoongi to wake up. he doesnt want to hear what he has to say.

jimin stepped into the bathroom while rubbing his temples, a mix of emotions flooding his brain and causing a slight headache. he was angry, really, but he didnt know why. maybe he was angry because he lost. maybe he was angry because seeing yoongi in his room for the first time was scary. but really, he was probably angry because he's tired of having these dreams. dreams of waking up next to him, being able to be comfortable with him, feeling the warmth of him every morning.

he was angry because he got a taste.

as jimin simply brushed his teeth and tried to distract himself by cleaning up the house. dusting, folding, cooking. but nothing could take away the internal burning he was feeling, the burning of a lie that he thought was so real. because that reality cant be real. yoongi will never be his.

he wanted yoongi to leave. without a single word, to just fucking leave his life once and for all. from what he's experienced, love hurts more than it heals. so he wants yoongi, the man he's wanted since high school to get the fuck out of his bed so he can finally heal.

when jimin finally hears footsteps, from his bedroom, to the hall, and finally to the living room, his heart froze. it was surreal— something so simple had to be such a big deal. fuck you, yoongi.

"jimin?" yoongi asks with sleep laced in his voice, his eyebrow raised after realizing jimin hadnt spared him a glance. jimin wasnt ready to face him sober, in bigspace. he just, he wasnt. he couldnt.

he turned off the stove and sighed, still looking away from yoongi before biting his lip and fisting one of his hands. "listen, i don't remember anything. not a damn thing. so whatever i did or said last night— it meant nothing. i was just drunk. alright?"

jimin's voice was more hostile than he anticipated, tears threatening to break through. he didnt know what else to say. he didnt know what else to do but put up walls. its the best thing he knows how to do. to hide.

yoongi, he just chuckled. stepping into the kitchen and right next to jimin, he placed his hand on jimin's cheek and turned his head to stare at him in the eye. "jimin."

jimin's eyes widened, desperately trying to pry his gaze away from yoongi's dark eyes but fails. yoongi was too close. his voice was too close. its not real. its not real.

"g-get out." jimin mumbled, his mouth betraying his mind, which was begging him to stay. his eyes locked with yoongi's, and yoongi's unfaltering gaze, he whispered even quieter as a tear slid down his cheek. "p-please."

with a sad smile on his face, yoongis thumb wiped the small tear away, sighing before pressing a small, gentle kiss on jimin's cheek before pulling away. jimin didnt move when he heard the door open and shut.

and he most definitely didnt move when he saw the sealed envelope yoongi had left on the kitchen counter, with yoongi's handwriting on the front.

for my minnie.

// this was the literal worst chapter but uh, i finally got the girl ive wanted for 10 months. gang gang.