Real or not real?

Shaky But Real

The moment was more or less perfect, I was lying on top of him basically and we were staring eye to eye as I ran my fingers through his soft golden hair. I don't care if this is happening to quickly, I think I love this guy. BEEEEPPP! A pang of annoyance hit me. Right now, at this perfectly perfect moment in time, the timer for his oven went off. "I better get that" he said while rushing off. I smile as he enters again but I'm not smiling on the inside. That moment, that wonderful moment, will probably never happen again.

"Peeta, this is delicious" I exclaim with a mouthful of food in my mouth. The cheese rolls with the local butchers ham were amazing. "Thats good then, I know you like your cheese rolls," he laughs softly over our dinner. "Slow down though!" I attempt to slow down, but ever since the hunger games I've learnt to just enjoy food. He stands up to go get the ice cream from the fridge; my favourite. I sneak up behind me as he browses the shelf of ice cream. Wrapping my arms round his waste from behind, I put my face in his back. "Hey" he says "hey," I reply. I go on top toes so I too can see the freezer and wow. Boxes and boxes of cooking ingredients staked sky high "shame we didn't have this amount of food at the hunger games" I mutter. "Yeah" he whispers faintly. Suddenly he moves away quick and sit on the dining room chair, eyes looking empty and hands shaking. My heart sinks, what I said about the hunger games must of triggered a flashback. I crouch down so I'm eye level to his cloudy grey instead of beautiful blue eyes.

Peeta spends the rest of the evening crying. About lost loved ones, about Prim, basically anything. He reminds me of when my mother was pregnant with Prim actually, I briefly remember it, but I remember her crying about the fact that she dropped a much hated sacred vase. My normal mother would've celebrated really. We lie on his bed together in the early hours of the morning, holding each other close and comforting each other. I look over to Peeta, he's asleep but his fists are clenched and his face is all scrunched up, this is how he has nightmares. Shall I wake him up? Or let him sleep it out? I decide to end his pain and wake him up, but as soon as I do he starts crying bless him. My poor Peeta literally screaming in pain. "Katniss?" He whispers while I hug him close "real or not real? You love me?" My heart is racing, my blood feels hot and I'm feeling mixed emotions. I've been meaning to ask myself this do I love him? And yes. Yes I do. "Real" I murmur into his hair "that's good I guess. I have a crush on you" he smiles with tears rolling down his handsome face.