Limbo

Learning Curve (smut)

ASHLEY:

I kiss Dawn goodnight in the hallway, then go into my room to get ready for bed. As soon as I hear their door close, I lean my head forward against my door and let out a sigh, because I don't want her to hear me. We've been together for almost three months now, and it's been close to six since I've actually gotten laid, so I'm kind of surprised that I'm still anything resembling sane, but I'm not really sure how to go about approaching the topic with her.

I still very vividly remember the conversation we had after she joined me in the shower at the B and B, so I know that, thanks to her worthless father, she doesn't feel really comfortable with asserting herself, and that I probably made things even worse when I accused her of trying to use sex to manipulate me. And since she asked me the day we got back together if we could wait awhile on anything more physical than hugs and kissing, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to know when the right time is to try for anything more. But I guess I'm just gonna have to play it by ear, take it slow, and hope that I'll actually know when she's ready, because I'm not about to do anything to mess this up again.

I move away from the door and go into the bathroom to brush my teeth, then start getting undressed for bed. I take my shirt off, and I'm sitting on the edge of the bed pulling off my boots when I hear a tap on the door. I walk over to the door, and when I open it, I'm kind of surprised to see Dawn standing there in her robe. "Hey, darlin', is everything okay?" I inquire.

She nods and says, "Yes, everything is fine. I was just wondering if I could come in for a minute."

I step back and let her into the room, trying to figure out what she needs to talk about that can't wait until morning. "Okay, what's up?"

Then the last thing on Earth that I would have expected happens: She closes the door, locks it behind her, and drops her robe to the floor, standing in front of me in nothing but a pair of silky, pale-blue tap pants, and a wispy, semi-transparent bra in the same color, which is nearly hidden by the beautiful rose-gold hair cascading down past her hips. She looks me in the eye, with a small smile, and says, "I thought maybe we could find a way to ring in your birthday together."

I instantly feel most of the blood in my body rush to my groin, but I'm utterly speechless for a few seconds and just gape at her, which I immediately realize is the absolute wrong reaction when I see her face change. The smile disappears, replaced by a purposefully blank expression, and she stoops down to pick up her robe. "All right, I guess not," she mutters as she turns and reaches for the doorknob. "I guess I'll see you in the morning, then. Goodnight."

I put my hand on the door to keep it closed, and reach out to wind my other arm around her waist. "No, sweetheart, please don't go," I whisper in her ear. "I didn't mean it like that, I was just surprised. I remember you saying that you weren't really comfortable initiating things, so I wasn't expecting it."

"It's okay, Ash. We don't have to do anything if you don't want to, I..." she begins, but I cut off her words with a kiss that leaves us both short of breath.

Pulling her closer to me, so she can feel how my body is reacting to her, I interrupt, saying, "Don't think that, even for a second! I've been making myself crazy trying not to push you too hard. So if you're here just because you think it's what I want, or because it's my birthday, then just kiss me goodnight and go back across the hall, because I don't want this to happen unless you're absolutely sure it's what you want, too."

The smile comes back to her face, brighter than before, and she drops the robe again to twine her arms around my neck. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be with you," she informs me. "I've wanted to do this almost from the first day, it just took me until now to get the nerve to do something about it. But I do want this, as much as it feels like you do."