My Little Black Rant Book

Awkward Vegetarianism

Yep, that's right. I'm a vegetarian. Well, not exactly. I'm a peskatarian, so I eat fish but not red meats and birds. So, it kind of sucks being me. I'm a shy introvert, so it's like I'm the introvert of your worst nightmares. I hate making people feeling like they have to 'eat around me'. What I mean by that is like they have to make special foods, or take the meat out of a thing, just so I can eat. I'd really rather not eat then make you do a little extra work. I don't know if I'm nice or a pushover. Hmm, what do you think? Am I too nice for my own good? Ok, anyway, I decided to write about being a vegetarian because of my family. Well, basically tonights' dinner.

So, I'm a second generation vegetarian, meaning my mom was one first. She raised me without meat, so I've been a vegetarian my whole life. I don't have anything wrong with me (I'm a bit overweight, but I'm blaming it on my muscles, not the fact I love Nutella) except for possibly an iron deficiency, but I think those run in the family because my cousin has it too. I guess what I'm trying to say is being a vegetarian hasn't affected me. Much. But, my stomach isn't used to meat, and the last time I had it was in first grade, and I almost threw up on the playground. It's not fun almost throwing up on the playground. So no, I can't just eat some meat, unless you want me to up-chuck. Trust me, I will make sure it ends up on you.

So tonight wasn't really a problem, I'm used to people eating meat around me, I'm not offended by it, I just don't eat meat. *Intense hand gestures to reassure you I'm not an asshole* We had some squash- it was wet so I was kind of holding it down-, mashed potatoes, and some glorious ham. Or I think it was ham. Never ask a vegetarian what's for dinner, they will not know the meat differences. Anyway, there was gravy but it had meat oil or something in it I forgot what my aunt said in the amount of awkwardness the ensued. The awkward was too intense. So, while I was trying to run away, she offered me butter. Of course, I was like 'nah', because someone would have to go into the fridge and get it. Then my grandmother was offering my cole slaw and I don't really like cole slaw, so I kind of scurried away.

Okay, yes, I'm a picky vegetarian. Or that's what my cousins call me anyway. I'd much rather have potato salad than cole slaw. I'd rather have my noodles with vegetables on the side, and I'd rather not eat the weird creations my grandmother comes up with. Follow a recipe Goddangit! So, tonight, due to my awkward vegetarianism, I had plain mashed potatoes and about two spoonfuls of squash. But, that's okay, because my stomach shrank anyway.*

*What I mean by that is my first meal was a package of pop tarts at one, and it was also my last meal until my meager dinner. So, I didn't really have room for much else.

I do enjoy being a vegetarian, and I don't hate you if you eat meat. Just keep on living your life and I will continue on in my awkward vegetarianism.