My Little Black Rant Book

Insanity

That's it. I've gone totally crazy. Not only is there a voice in my head that mocks me if I cry, but I am imagining people.

So, I'm not making my own people, they already exist. Making my own people would be too hard. I just imagine scenarios with the people, and I think about them a lot. Then, I talk to myself. I do it almost 24/7. No joke. I could be a Youtuber if I could talk to a camera like I talk to myself. I insult myself, make comments about how fabulous I look, laugh at my own jokes, but the talking to myself is like actual conversations.

Don't even get me started on how I'm in too deep with my favorite band, Set It Off. I almost cried because they all jumped at the same time, like this is getting alarming. Let's not even talk about the things I name the pictures I download from Google of Set It Off. It's...unsettling, and I hope no one ever finds them.

I legit yell at my computer. Not even good sentences either, just horrible atrocities.
"Come at meeeee!"- talking about hot people
"Bitch ass."- talking about how it takes 5evr to load sometimes
"Son of a-*gasps for breath*"- basically everything
"Dat ass."- talking about glorious booties.
"Kill me."- talking about tumblr, the feels, sometimes a show or movie, or hot peeps
*mouthing screams*- me when I try to sing along to screamo
*intense squeals of a frog in danger*- me fangirling over literally anything. even a sentence

I have a dance routine to like, five songs. Not subtle dance moves to every song, but a fucking routine. Like, I actually get up and do the dance if I'm alone. And I'm a horrible dancer. I'm white, honestly, what do you expect? I also play the air guitar. Frequently. Like all the time. I have a playlist dedicated to playing air guitar, aptly titled 'Guitar Practice'. I like to think I'd do a pretty good stage performance. I just kind of jump around, spin in circles and faintly headbang. You'd watch that right?

I scream, not mutter, not say in a conversational tone, I freakin' scream bad words. If I'm alone, and I've been alone a lot for the past week it is all an introvert could ever want I've been in heaven. Anyway, I could be scrolling through a playlist and accidentally click on a song and out comes 'MotherFUCKER.' I don't even use bad words on things that normal people would use bad words on. Like if I drop bread that I somehow miraculously spread just the right amount of Nutella on, I will say "Frickity-frack." It'll be really loud and probably accompanied by an extremely awkward pose of me throwing my hands up and making a really weird face, but it won't be a bad word. But when a hair is on my cheese-stick I will screech something like "Bloody fucking hell, why is there a damn hair on my cheese-stick?!" Then I will calmly remove the hair like nothing happened.

*cough* *cough* So, I'm deeming myself cray-cray. But that's okay, I'm hella fabulous. *hair flip, pose, then me striding off into the sunset*