aurora: in full bloom | hongjoong - ateez [hiatus]

⇢ ch. 5

You take a deep breath and go find Seonghwa. You walk around the building of the company, where you end up finding him in a recording studio.

"Hi, what are you working on?"

"Some new music for my group Astrid."

"Oh, must be difficult," you nervously laugh.

You forget with your fingers, nervous to confront and confess your feelings.

You don't know how he will react. You don't want to be rejected. But you won't know his feelings unless you go ahead and express how you feel first.

"You're right, it is difficult. Many days I have writers block, making it difficult to produce something. On those days, it feels like I've failed. But I know I've accomplished a lot already, and I have to remind myself that I've written some incredible songs already."

"That's really good to hear. You should be proud of yourself. You know I've listened to your stuff, and I really like it," you compliment.

"Thank you, that means a lot," Seonghwa becomes shy, looking down to avoid your eyes.

He is smiling, his heart beating a thousand miles per second because the person he likes praised him.

He composes himself though.

"So, what made you come seek me out?"

"I-I need to clear some things up so I'm not forever confused," you start.

Seonghwa nods, just as nervous as you. He wonders what it could be.

You work up your courage, your voice growing stronger by the second.

"Can we talk about the other night?What dinner was the other night? Was it a date?"

Seonghwa pauses, not entirely expecting these questions being fired towards him.

He progressively becomes nervous.

"I, um, I'm not entirely sure. I guess in a way it could be, if you want to interpret it that way. We haven't done anything together outside of work together, so I thought it would be nice to get dinner," Seonghwa stutters.

Your heart falls ever so slightly at his answer. It wasn't a straightforward answer. You expect that Seonghwa possibly doesn't entirely know his feelings towards you either.

You take a deep breath before responding, "I think it's time for me to be upfront, whether I like it or not. I need to be an adult about this. I...I have feelings for you Seonghwa. I want to believe that the other night was a date. It seems like both of us are not entirely sure if it was. But in a way, I do interpret it as a date."

You anxiously wait for his response.

It takes Seonghwa a moment for him to formulate his thoughts.

"I-is this a dream? I'm quite surprised that you are confessing to me because I have feelings for you as well. I was not expecting this, and I don't think I ever was expecting you to say that in a million years. I suppose you could call dinner a date then," he awkwardly laughs.

You simply give him a smile then. An awkward pause occurs before you speak again.

"So, um, what does that make us then?"

"Do, do you want to go out with me? Do you want to date?"

"Sure, I would love to."

"Why is asking someone out so awkward," Seonghwa grins.

"I don't know. Emotions, feelings, anticipation, nerves. They all make it awkward," you breath out. "You don't know what the other person is going to say. It's a gamble telling the person you like your feelings for them. It's never easy, but always worth the shot. We both got lucky in our case."

"Agreed."

↞-↠

In the beginning, you find it difficult to balance your newfound emotions and feelings towards Seonghwa with work.

You know you need to focus on work and your projects laid out for you, but your mind tends to wander towards Seonghwa.

It makes you feel like you're in high school again, crushing on some guy like there's no tomorrow.

But your relationship with Hongjoong starts to become different as well. It's all new as well. It helps you stay focused and on track.

You start to grow more comfortable around him, and you start to get to know him a little more as well.

Hongjoong starts to understand you little by little as well.

He's glad that he is able to break through with you, to be able to make you smile and laugh.

Your emotions are more natural and raw when you're around Hongjoong. You don't know if it's because of your fresh relationship with Seonghwa, or if it's because you're becoming more comfortable around Hongjoong.

Perhaps it's a mix of both.

You find it to be interesting that two drastically different men come into your life and shake it up a lot.

You wonder if they're actually similar. Maybe it's because they work in music and that you met through that means.

But you remind yourself that in the end, they are two completely different people. They both have different charms.

Seonghwa has this warm and friendly aurora to him. He is a complete gentleman to you, and he showcases how much he cares for you in so many ways.

He's gentle and charming. You're in awe that you somehow ended up with him. You feel so incredibly lucky, and you wonder how the universe put you and Seonghwa together.

Ever since your first encounter with him, you've managed to always hit it off.

But Hongjoong makes you question so much.

He's mysterious yet surprisingly kind. Somewhat awkward. He started off intimidating you, but you've slowly warmed up to him.

It's like an iceberg melting under the sun. But also like an iceberg in the sense that you see so little of someone yet there's so much more to them deep down under.

You've only managed to scratch the surface with Hongjoong. You know him to an extent. You know how he works in the office, but you don't know much about his personal life.

You don't want to intrude because you still see him as your senior, someone you respect. You don't want to break his trust. You don't want to break that relationship with him.

You keep your work and personal lives seperate while working together. You started to wonder a lot about him.

You wonder what he's like outside of work. You wonder if he has a girlfriend, where his hometown is, and what sort of things he does in his freetime.

You find it intriguing that over time, your mind wandering started to balance out between both Seonghwa and Hongjoong.

You think about how your relationship with both of them has changed so much.

You and Seonghwa have become more intimate. You and Hongjoong have become more friendlier.

You wonder a lot about where your relationship with both will lead.

You spend a lot of time with Hongjoong yet you're dating Seonghwa.

Will you continue being friends with both in the end? Will your relationship with both become strained? What will happen once you stop working so closely with Hongjoong? Will it ever stop?