The Tales of a Professional Hockey Player

Chapter 24: Training Camp

~Ben~

~September~

You know what, Eleanor? You do just that, I don't give a damn.

It's been a week since I've written those words and they haven't stopped haunting me. After writing my answer, I went to my room and packed my bag. I brought everything I would need for the NHL training camp before closing the door behind me. I called Connor, telling him I would need a place to stay for the next few days. He told me to meet him at his place and that we would go from there. I then placed my phone and my laptop on the kitchen table. It's when I saw the plan I had made, my own fish tank move, that I lost it. I shred the sheet of paper into a million of small pieces that are impossible to put back together and threw them all over the floor. I took one last look at the apartment to take in what I had done and, knowing it would take a while before coming back, I locked the door behind me. I slid my key under the front door and didn't look back as I entered the elevator.

I have been staying at a hotel near the arena. For the past week, I have been focused on my training and nothing else. I go for a run as soon as I wake up, head back to my room for breakfast, and spend the rest of the day working out at the hotel's gym. I haven't spoken to anyone but Connor who comes by every two days to check if I'm still alive. Those were his words, not mine. I honestly thought I would miss my phone and my laptop, but I haven't felt this connected in a really long time. I feel connected to myself instead of being in constant contact with the entire world. I loved not feeling close to anyone but myself, it allowed me to stop caring about the rest of the world for once. For the first time since coming back to New York, I am focused solely on me and on my career. All my efforts were directed to the upcoming physical tests. Everything I did and everything I ate was to be ready for today. The first day of the training camp consists of the physical tests, both off-ice and on ice and I can finally say that I am ready.

I arrived at the arena at seven am even if the report time was only at eight to get myself ready. I changed into my workout clothes and started to warm up my muscles. We were given a sheet with the day's planning to help us prepare in advance. We start with off-ice tests like pushups, pullups, and sprints and will end the day with on-ice tests which consist of more sprints and endurance tests. We are set to be done around eleven this morning. The afternoon is usually spent in the training rooms to recover with ice baths and massages to heal both the body and the mind.

I've had training camps ever since I was eleven, but this is the scariest one yet because it determines whether you spend the season on the ice or on the bench. What happens in the next few days will determine how much ice time I'll get and the trio I'll end up on. I absolutely have to do well, but I am worried. Even if I have spent most of my time working out since I moved to New York, the time I spent in British-Columbia was filled with restaurants and parties and alcohol. I know the guys around me haven't done anything but prepare for today ever since last season ended which is why, when I hear Mr. Bailey call out my group's number, my legs start shaking.

There are about sixty guys in the locker rooms. Signed players like me, drafted but not-signed players, and some camp invitees like potential Major Junior and college players for future seasons. In total, there are forty forwards, sixteen defensemen, and seven goaltenders. In those players, only twenty-three will be on the official team. The pressure is high for those who need to get a contract by the end of the camp. I am lucky enough to have already signed my contract, but that doesn't mean that there is no pressure on me.

I try to empty my head from all the voices around me when me and nine other forwards enter the evaluation room. In front of us are ten men with chronometers and measuring tapes in their hands. Each player is paired with one and we start the tests. I try to think about nothing else but myself but hearing the other guys' results and how we compare to them is hard.

After an hour of jumping, sprinting, and cycling, we are done with the off-ice tests.  I have no idea how the other players in my group performed, but I am proud of myself. I pushed my body beyond its limits and was always in the top three for the group tests like the pullups and the pushups. Every single one of my muscles is tired, but I only have thirty minutes until the on-ice tests start. In the changing rooms, some players talk to each other and others stay silent. I spot Bogdan in the corner of the room tying his skates and go sit next to him. We weren't in the same group since he plays defense, but none of that matters in the on-ice tests.

"Hi, Benji, how are you?" he asks as soon as he recognizes me. I answer his question with a nod of my head and a smile, still feeling too tired to speak.

"Are you happy with your results?" I slowly ask when we're both done tying our skates.

"Bad luck to share results, Benji. No bad luck for me," he answers, shaking his head. He gets up to put on the rest of his equipment and I do the same. His answer suggest that he still haven't signed his contract, so I let it go, not wanting to brag about my situation.

"Johnson," I hear someone shout. I turn around and see coach Bailey standing in the middle of the locker room, an intense look in his eyes. I walk towards him, avoiding looking in the other players' eyes who are all staring at me. "I want this filled before your on-ice tests, ok?" he adds as he hands me a plastic cup, his voice less loud than only a minute ago.

"Yes, sir." I had almost forgotten about the alcohol tests I have to do whenever my coach sees fit, but don't complain nor argue. I was lucky I didn't get a bigger punishment for my reckless actions in Germany. I head to the bathroom, ignoring the comments from the other players.

"What did you do, Johnson? Huh? What did a rookie like you do to deserve urine tests so early in the season? You a fan of steroids or something?" another player asks me as we are standing next to each other on the ice, waiting for the signal to start our sprint from the goal line to the far blue line test. I take a look at him after noticing something weird in the way he spoke. His two front teeth are missing, making him lisp. He isn't wearing his mouth guard, probably because he isn't afraid of losing more teeth. I pull mine out to answer him.

"No, I was a fan of German beers and it showed in my blood tests." There is no point in lying to them. Those guys will become my teammates in only a few days, and I swore to never lie to my teammates. Trust is the most important thing on a team, and I can't think of a worst way to build trust than starting with a lie. We don't have time to continue the conversation; Mr. Bailey blows his whistle and we all start sprinting.

I set foot in my hotel room at four pm, completely exhausted. I am glad I took a shower before leaving the arena because I wouldn't have had the strength to take one now. I throw myself on the bed and immediately fall asleep. The sound of the hotel's phone ringing wakes me up only two hours later. I answer, thinking Connor wants to have the latest news about my day, but the feminine voice on the other hand of the line contradicts my prediction.

"Where the fuck are you? I have been looking for you for days!" Olive shouts.

"Hotel. Training camp started today. How did you get this number?" I mumble, still half asleep.

"I had Alex call Connor, Benjamin. Everyone was looking for you since you left that note on Eleanor's table with your phone and your laptop. What were you thinking?" She still sounds angry, but she lowered her voice. It's never a good sign when someone calls me Benjamin. No one ever calls me that, except when they're mad at me, so hearing my full name started to freak me out when I was around ten.

"Stupid Connor. Remind me to fire him, ok?" I tried to sound funny, but think I failed miserably. Really though, I'll have to speak to him about where his loyalty lies. I specifically told him I didn't want anyone to know where I was, and he gave the name of the hotel I'm staying at to the first person who asked him.

"This isn't funny, Ben! You scared everyone, especially Eleanor!" I can't help but flinch when I hear her name. I want to end this conversation. I don't want to think about Eleanor right now. I want to go back to sleep and forget the ache in my arms and legs for a few more hours.

"Well you found me. You can stop worrying now, ok? Bye Olive," I say before hanging up. I unplug the phone from the wall. I know Olive well enough to know that she'll either call back or have Alex call. I can't think about Eleanor or what happened the last time I saw her. It will impair my performances and that can't happen. I have to be at the top of my game for the next three days. I'll deal with the rest then. For now, I need to eat.