Imagine getting a call that YOU were chosen to be signed to a record label. Also imagine having to stop your reality just to become someone and something you're not. Having fame is not easy and some people regret making that decision.
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I looked out the window of the bus as we drove to Chicago. We'd only been on the road for a few hours.
There was about 7 hours left of this before I got to jump in an actual bed and sleep. Knowing good and well we'd have to get right back up to work on rehearsals. This life is so exhausting but it gets the bills paid.
The bus was full of other artists from the label. It wasn't crowded but it was too many people and it made Xavier uncomfortable.
I kinda hated having two personas sometimes.
Like mama said, Dream is only temporary. Xavier is forever and I can't fake half the shit she feels. It's too strong to cover up.
I was trying my best to remove the alter ego and stick to what I knew. But it was hard, I'd been living another life for almost three years now.
And when you believe something for a long period of time you'll believe it to be true, even when it's not.
I was sitting in my own area trying to be secluded from the mingling. I'd never been an extrovert, I liked my own company.
I enjoyed my own company and I didn't let people in because I didn't wanna hurt my energy. My frequency was too high for the simple minded people that roam this earth.
If there's one good thing about Xavier that I can say is that she was a very spiritual individual, I loved it.
She was a healer even though she couldn't heal her own pain. But I tried to keep that side of myself away from others.
I sensed negative energy from a mile away, almost as if I could smell it.
"Why you still all the way back here? Come up here with us," Carmen stood by the empty seat beside me. "Don't start this Dream,"
She gave me a look full of pity, she frowned as I threw my hood over my head and turned away from her.
It's not that I didn't want to be bothered, that I didn't want to talk, or that I was just in one of my moods. I'm not a big fan of the people they were around. It was Jon, Khalick, Carmen, and then there was Malia and Tyler.
They rubbed me the wrong way, it wasn't just Xavier either. I disliked those girls and I never did since I joined Interscope
"Dream," Carmen sat down next to me. "We can't worry bout them bitches. Khalick don't even like them bitches and he likes everything,"
While I did all the behind the scenes work with thr music, Carmen was out being friendly. Her and the boys were getting close, more importantly her and Jon.
Did I feel a way? Yeah, but I can't do my cousin like that. She made it clear to me that she didn't want anything to do with him, but her actions are singing a different tune.
