Reverberating Lines

Public Speaking

Ok, now's the time...
So long i have practiced,
Its my time to shine.
This topic, i need to express this!

I pray that this will go as expected.
Yet Confidence is infected.
As risks are taken.
Anxiety Awakens.

As a few words go...
Oh wait- oh no!
I could feel it creeping...
Anxiety now seeping..

A few shaky breathes,
I think my words are a mess!
I could see them sighing,
Oh, i think Im dying...

And then it happened.
Nothing more, but only sounds i could send.
This moment, i cant mend,
When will this ever end?

One mistake, a pause, an "umm"
Result to them laughing like Im dumb.
The card by my thumb,
No longer seen, too stunned.

Im shaking,
They're faking.
Stopped breathing,
They're laughing.

Nothings coming to mind.
Specific words i cannot find.
Are they cheering as support?
Or laughing at how pathetic...

Barely recovered,
the Anxiety on my head, hovered.
Im nearing the end!
Cant wait to greet it like an old friend.

Why am i still shaking?
Self-esteem is breaking.
Train of thought collapsing,
Oh-this is so humiliating.

Now its done.
All thoughts are gone.
My legs are giving up.
I sit by the gate and just stop.

And then i said "come what may,"
Not knowing destiny after that day,
I really dont know what else to say.
A part of me, just grey.

And then the truth came out.
I just want to shout.
Yet no sound coming out my mouth.
All things now going south.

I just want to run to my Dad,
Hug him and never be sad.
As much as i try to unsee,
I can never be free from they're Mockery.