Honey Drip // Danny Wagner

VII

I waited for Danny to lay in on me for telling Josh about us but he only stood up in silence, lingering next to me. I followed, almost immediately stumbling as I rose, and Danny steadied me with his hand on my shoulder.

The slippery feel of the sleeping bag beneath me took me back to camping as a kid--the smell of the plastic tent and the fire outside, the hard earth under me, the sensation of being both overheated and freezing all at once--it was nostalgia, only exacerbated by the whiskey.

I couldn't handle Danny not saying anything--I rolled over onto my side to look at him: "Danny, I'm sorry I told Josh," I said. "It wasn't fair."

He finished unlacing and removing his boots from the opening of the tent; he scooched inside and zipped it shut, sitting cross-legged next to me with a flashlight lying on its side acting as the only light.

"It's okay," he said. "I mean, someone was bound to figure it out at some point anyway."

That didn't make me feel any better about breaching his trust. I sat up then: "Please, I'd rather have you actually be mad at me than--I don't know, be silently mad or--"

Danny leaned into me and held my face in his hand, stroking my cheek with his thumb. Looking in his eyes in the bit of scattered, shadowy light we had in the tent, I wanted to tell him everything that I had told Josh.

"I'm not mad," he said and kissed me, brushing his lips against mine before our mouths met completely.

I sighed and took hold of his jacket, grabbing the collar and pulling him into me, our kisses becoming deeper, sloppier. I tried to feel his body through all his layers--I unzipped his jacket and palmed his chest, aching to feel his skin past the clothing--as Danny sucked on my bottom lip before taking it between his teeth, biting it a little.

I laughed and he pulled away.

"What?" he asked.

"You've never done that before," I told him, kissing him again.

"Really?"

I shook my head, smiling about the new technique, kissing his jaw, reaching my hand down to his crotch to feel his bulge through his sweatpants. Danny exhaled and kissed me hard, pushing me down against the sleeping bags. I kissed back just as hard before kissing down to his throat, letting my teeth graze his skin as I sucked. He moaned and I sucked harder, moving to a new spot, then I felt his hand maneuver past my sweatpants that were layered over a pair of leggings and past my underwear.

I couldn't find a word--I just emitted a quiet moan against his neck, and spread my legs as best I could as he started to very gently massage me.

"Wait," he said, stopping his motions. "I don't have a condom."

I looked up at him: "I brought condoms."

Slowly, Danny removed his hand from my pants. "Really?"

I propped myself up on my elbows. "Yeah," I said. "I mean--you never know what could happen, right?"

He sat back. "You didn't bring those for anyone else, right?"

I stared at him, not knowing what to say but feeling heat rise in my body--his insinuation felt like a slap in the face.

"Are you serious?" I replied. I felt myself getting too worked up and I told myself to reel it in, but the heat kept rising.

"I'm joking--"

"Fuck you, Danny," I spat, sitting up, pushing away the urge to storm out of the tent.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that," he said, moving closer to me and reaching for my arm, which I pulled away. "I really was joking."