Honey Drip // Danny Wagner

Part II // Chapter XI

I really got into the groove of this chapter and had so much fun writing it (literally had "Smalltown Boy" by Bronski Beat on repeat for this one). As always, I hope you enjoy reading it & thank you for liking, reblogging & sharing your comments! ~

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I wasn't sure if Danny was aware of how much of a chameleon he could be. Sure, maybe he sometimes seemed like a wallflower or even some sort of social underdog but he wasn't at all. He got all the jokes that went over other people's heads--including my own--and was able to observe, take in, and configure responses and behaviors to melt into situations, not waft awkwardly on the sidelines. It was especially apparent when the five of us decided on a club, not a bar, to spend the night together.

We must have looked like quite an odd team--Josh, with his perpetual grin and gold-adorned throat and wrists contrasting his muted, Communist-esque outfit; Jake's cool stare and even cooler getup, fronting himself like he couldn't be bothered, except he apologized more than what was necessary when his elbow knocked into someone trying to get to the entrance; Sam's ever-growing tresses hanging down his back and shining in the bouncing lights, bopping his head to music that he hated; of course Danny, shining brighter than anyone and anything else in the entire club. I could feel myself already gawking at him, lovesick and stuck to his side--who took their boyfriends or girlfriends to clubs? I wasn't sure if I would start crying or start fighting if someone else tried to paw him.

Moving through the introductory crowd to get to the bar was a little challenging, but we all managed to stick together. Danny, Sam and I linked arms and the twins linked arms too, and we all pushed and "excuse me'd" our way to the neon bar, with Josh's minuscule form wedging himself to the counter. I held Danny's hand and looked around, already imagining the scene--Sam getting into the groove despite his hatred of club and pop music. He would be the first to shimmy and shake his way into the crowd and get swept up in a sea of hands, hair and hips; Josh would follow, drink in hand, tossing his head back in the lights while Jake perused to some corner to find something more interesting, whether it be conversion or something--or someone--more tactile.

I wasn't sure where that would leave Danny and I. It wasn't even as though we could escape to the deck and bum cigarettes off strangers. Nevertheless, he looked completely at ease with his gaze scanning the crowd, circling the entire space until his eyes landed on Josh as five shots were poured in front of him.

Tequila, of course, and it burned, of course. Immediately Josh got us all another round and I knew then that I would end up flailing into Danny's arms at the end of the night if I weren't careful. I wanted him to collapse into mine, to proclaim an undying need for my own safety, comfort and care, to crawl back into that hotel bed with me and lock me in a warm, boozy vice.

It wasn't often that I got to see him really lose control. Maybe not even "control," since he was truly so easy-going that being in control wasn't something he consciously craved as often as some of us. He had to let that go with a dynamic like the boys had, him required to be the soundboard, the voice of reason, the peacekeeper, the one who could wrangle in the chaos yet through it all was the one who led their way through the darkness and into the glittering lights of freedom and success. I knew what they did wasn't easy but my god, if they didn't make it look easy so often. I thought I would be perpetually envious and questioning of their resilience and energy, their passion and drive and ability to navigate themselves through anything and everything. They seemed so unstoppable even in their worst moments.

So when Danny ended up downing five shots in less than an hour and was wavering next to me, clinging to my shoulders and ducking down to plant messy, tequila-tasting kisses to my lips, I couldn't help but smile triumphantly. Even if he didn't need me to be at his side to help cheer him on or even help to guide the way, he still wanted me there.