Honey Drip // Danny Wagner

XIII

The entire ceremony, I was itching to take off the cap and gown--not only were they both hot around me but they were hideous. I had been looking around at everyone else the whole time to see if anyone else felt as uncomfortable as I did, especially when we all had to crowd in the basketball court, forced to bask in each other's sweat.

Josh, of course, couldn't have been bothered. He zipped around from person to person, the tassels of his cap dangling over his temple, a huge smile on his face. I tried to cling to the people I knew but I couldn't take my focus off the heat of the room, the slippery fabric over my clothes, and the anticipation of just getting the whole thing over with.

What made it all worth it was seeing everyone in the stands--I managed to get a few glimpses as we all marched to our seats. My parents looked ecstatic, my brother looked mystified by the mass of students in front of him, and then there was Josh's family, including Jake and Sam, all clapping and smiling. I would've bet money that both Jake and Sam were stoned out of their minds.

I couldn't help but smile myself when my eyes landed on Danny, sitting next to Sam. He looked so happy--happier than I must have looked. Even from afar I could see the adoration--it made me feel immensely loved and insecure all at once.

When we sat down Josh nudged my arm, leaning into me to ask, "You ready?"

"No more secret smoke sessions," I reminded him.

He smiled. "We'll find a way to keep those going."

I laughed. "Then I guess I'm ready."

---

"I could've been DD," Danny said to me as all of us got out of my car, parked on the street outside Tyler's house. "You deserve to celebrate."

"Nah, it's okay," I said, navigating through the rest of the parked cars, Josh leading the way to the door. "I'll have a drink or two. But I don't feel like getting drunk tonight. Besides, Sam, you brought weed, right?"

Sam raised an eyebrow and smiled. "What do you think?"

I turned to Danny and gestured at Sam. "See?"

Danny shrugged. "Alright. Well, don't get mad when you have to hold my hair back."

"No, none of that tonight, Daniel," Sam said.

"This house seems small for this many people," Jake noted, looking up at the exterior.

"Yeah, we're gonna make a mess," Sam replied.

"Josh is gonna make a mess," I said loudly.

Josh turned around, ready to defend himself, but then shrugged and turned back to open the door.

The music was booming so loudly I couldn't even detect what it was--then I realized it wasn't even the music that was so loud, it was all the separate conversations. People were crowded in all corners, even by the front door, which Josh had to politely shove to get us all through. The living area that we entered was nearly full, everyone holding drinks, and the dining room and kitchen beyond were clogged with bodies.

Danny grabbed my hand, running his thumb over my knuckles.

I was tempted to ask Sam to go out and smoke right away but I knew I needed to give myself a chance to acclimate first, mingle a little. The guys did it all so effortlessly--I envied Josh's unabashed silliness; I envied Jake's brazen confidence; I wished I could be like Sam, floating around and not giving a fuck; even Danny, the most soft-spoken of them all, had the natural ability to get along with everyone and he didn't even have to try. I realized that helped me though. All of them, but especially Danny, forced me to be more open, to try and engage more.