Dignity

Ready.

25/7/19 18:26pm
Another day has inevitably passed since I last delved into the depths of nostalgia.
Solely relying on memories of the past.
Things that I cannot change.
I have always been dependent on the past to shape my actions in the present.
What other purpose are memories meant to serve, anyway?
I used to trace all the steps where the best times of my life took place.
Picturing the sublime smiles of the people I cared about the most.
So invested in what happened that I lost control of myself.
Always wishing for the past to repeat itself, wanting to reach the same state of bliss as before.
But where will this get me, really?
I have driven myself insane with this toxic notion, never allowing myself to compose.
There was never a counter-argument in my mind, just the same images, trapped on loop.
I will NOT let these concepts dominate my outlook.
Not anymore.
For the past is now irrelevant.
People change, places change, nothing will ever remain the same.
So what is the point in looking back?
This summer, I've decided to attempt thinking optimistically.
And a part of that is learning to let go of the memories I have placed so close to my heart.
Solely to supplant those with the most exciting opportunities the future holds in store for me.
Tomorrow, I'm travelling abroad for the first time this year.
No distractions, no complications, a chance to continue to find myself.
Who am I, without these recollections which have dictated my decisions for the past year?
Abroad, I have no one to please.
Nobody to impress, no matter how much I thrive under the self-built pressure I enjoy creating.
Tomorrow, I have a chance to really move on from all the unanswered questions lingering inside.
And that is what truly counts.
My own happiness and wellbeing.
Tomorrow.. a time where I will learn to put myself first.
As I am here, still surviving in this world despite the harsh realities.
Tomorrow, I will be
Ready.