Love Doesn't Exist (bxb)

~Chapter six~

He wasn't in front of my house this morning, but I didn't think much of it, so I just walked to school myself nothing big. Besides, he only walked me to school twice in the week and what can I do if he didn't want to deal with me just to boost his grade up a little.

I got to school and was going to walk into the school, but I heard someone yelling my name. "Mark. Hold on" I turned around and saw Isaiah running full speed in my direction.

I didn't want to see what would happen next, so I ran into the building, "Mark Mark" he yelled chasing after me.

"Don't chase me," I yelled back at him while picking up my speed a little.

"Then don't run away." We both were running and swerving around and across people in the halls. But this time I tried my very best to keep him away.

After what mom had said to me it opened my eyes to the fact that I was acting stupid maybe, not like my dad, but I was getting there. I was somewhat regretting how I treated Isaiah for that moment.

I got lost in my thoughts and I unconsciously slowed down my pace. "Mark I finally got you," Isaiah said grabbing my shoulder for me to stop completely.

I turned around and saw his hunched over figure as he still kept a tight grip on my shoulder. I honestly wasn't going to do anything about that but, in the corner of my eyes, I saw people staring and whispering. But they weren't whispering very well.

I heard them say, "Oh is Isaiah trying to get Mark now? If he can then it will truly be official, that he has gone out with every single guy in his grade."

Oh, no that is not going to happen.

I whipped my shoulder away from his grasp, and to think that I felt bad for this guy. "Mark---"

"Shut up. Get the fuck away from me, I am not going to be your last checkmark on the long list of guys you had a thing with." I said loudly.

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards him and looking down at me and said, "Mark that's not what I'm doing?"

I slapped him in the face when he did that and yelled, "Save it. Even if I wanted to be friends with you, others will only ever see it as you taming the anti-social kid. And I am not putting myself through that."

I was low-key expecting him to fire back at me saying how I'm wrong and shouldn't believe what others say but, he didn't. Isaiah just walked away from me holding his hand up to his cheek and his head faced downwards, not saying a single word or giving me a single glance.

He just walked away from me as others followed their eyes as he passed by them. Once he was out of sight though they all in unison turned to look at me with a blank face.

I sneered at them and was just going to make my way into the classroom but, a really tight grip pulled on my ear and threw me into the office I really didn't want to be in. I winced in pain as I looked up at the only person that would do this.

"What is it Ms. Lao. Can't you see I am not in the mood for your bullshit at this moment."

She slapped me, "Shut the fuck up kid, don't you even think about talking to me in that tone again. I will not hesitate to beat you." She said glaring the hardest she has ever done to me.

I instantly quieted down not daring to say anything back. I got up from the floor and sat on the couch, "No I don't allow jerks on my couch, back on the floor with you." Ms. Lao said pushing me off.

"What you already knew I was a jerk and let me sit there," I said thinking her reason was unjust.

"Well, not to this extent. I thought you just didn't have love in you. But I guess all the love you should have is replaced with pure hate." She said dropping on the floor with me with her head in her hands as she took a huge sigh. "But I guess that is partly my fault too though."

"I don't know what you are talking about. I am just acting normally. You are just speaking up about this stupid thing because I did it to that idiot." I was getting even more aggravated; everyone was on that guy's side. My mom, the teachers, counselors, and even the fellow students, what about me. Why can't people think of the situation in my perspective? Is that too hard to ask?

Ms. Lao looked me in the eyes and just hugged me out of nowhere not saying anything. I looked at her head wondering if this was the right time to push her off or would she snap my neck. It is a clear shot from this position for her, so I just let her do whatever.

"Mark, I am not on your side. I am on Isaiah's" She said forcing me to push her off.

"Seriously. What type of guidance counselor are you? At least lie at that moment." I said.

"I am a guidance counselor; I give you guidance not sympathy with your shitty mindset on stuff." She said right back at me.

"Well doesn't sound like you are guiding me very well," I said.

"Mark, you say you don't love anything right?" She started.

"Yeah? So, what. This better not be another annoying speech." I groaned.

"It is, I don't care what you think. But Mark tell me, how do you feel about your dog." She said.

"I envy him."

"You envy a dog? What type of life are you forcing on yourself?" She said smacking the back on my head.

"What it's true," I said slightly yelling.

"Ok whatever you say, so then how do you feel about your mom?"

"I lo--, no I mean—" I stopped myself from answering that.

"Ha see Mark you are human. You love your mom right. You love everything she does for you; love how she is the only person who stayed beside you no matter how much of a dick you can be." Ms. Lao was getting excited.

"No, I—" She cut me off.

"Cut the crap kid. Just admit that you love her." Ms. Lao said placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Where you getting at old lady." Her smiled faded as she punched my arm.

"Call me that again and you will be so sorry." She said in those horror movie smiles. "But anyway, if you can give your love to your mom why not others."

"You know why," I said not wanting to bring that thing up again.

"What does your dad have to do with you making friends or finding your love? Come on tell me. Did he tell you when he left that you can never love again? Did he place a curse on you forbidding you to utter the word love?"

"No," I said lowering my head.

"So why? Why are you doing this to yourself." She questioned grabbing my hands and holding it tightly.

I felt tears starting to come but I didn't let them drop, I won't let them. "I don't want to leave mom alone."

"How are you going to leave her alone." She asked.

"Love is a curse, an excuse to do whatever you want whether it be good or bad. I just wish love never existed; mom's life would be much easier." I said and couldn't help but have a tear slip from my eyes.

"But Mark you are missing the bigger picture. How do you think she is feeling now, knowing you are a lonely, grouchy teenager with a huge attitude?" She said.

I thought back to all the times she would come home and eat dinner asking about what happened today. She would always ask anything new, new friends or anything, but I would always give her the same exact answer which was no. No, no, and no.

Her reactions always seemed to get sadder the more I said it. And when she had finally seen Isaiah she glowed up and was genuinely happy. For once I couldn't just say nothing happened.

I looked at Ms. Lao as she was smiling like she was such a smart person, nodding to herself mostly complimenting her efforts.

I left the room and walked back to class as I heard Ms. Lao yell across the halls, "Think about it more."

I didn't answer and walked into the classroom where I hear others gossiping about what had happened earlier.