how I feel...

the worst year of my life

my life has fallen apart, I've cried too much, I need everything to stop.

I should hate you but I don't and I couldn't no matter what.

but I hate myself, every day I look at the sun in the morning and wish I was dead, I'm done with the life I can't take it anymore, the panic attacks have got worst, the cuts have got deeper but I can't take it anymore.

I'm broken .. but I've tried to fix myself, I've tried too trust people but it never works, I've given up I just want to die but I don't, I can't live here anymore but I know ill be missed even though I tell myself "everyone will be better without me "and I'm only holding people down but maybe life will get better if I stay alive but I've been abused, used and I fell in love.

I fell in love but ill never be good enough ... 

love was my drug, but you never loved me back 

the more people you let in your life the more people that can walk out ...

can you tell me why I belong because I keep hurting people I care about but I've been hurt so many times it's becoming repetitive and normal?

I'm done with the pain, the hurt, the tears, and the scars but ill never be okay because I'm becoming numb, everything replaying in my head and I'm overthinking too much...

I was happier with you...