how I feel...

My broken heart

I honestly don't know how I feel anymore, I love him and I always will, I never meant to hurt you, I never trusted you at first but then you became the most important person in my life, the reason why I was still living, its torture knowing that I was being childish but we don't talk anymore because of my ways and I'm so sorry.

Once again I fucked up everything, I feel dead and I'm going insane without you...

I miss you, your smile, your laughter, your presence, I think about you all the time but I'm never on your mind, I'm not surprised, I've forgiven you for everything, but yet I'm the bad guy but its okay...
I'm just scared because if I say something wrong I'm the fuck up, I don't know, I trusted you the most but your name makes me want to cry every time I'm alone because I fucked up once I was getting over you then you told me you still "loved me "and I feel for the 3 words and they left me broke , more broke than I already am , you fucked with my heart and I hate you for that but I can never actually hate you but I'm the bad guy and you've said sorry and stupid me ...I've forgiven u and you don't know what to do anymore well I'm sorry but I'm done I can't take it anymore I wasn't good enough once again.