Bird of a Nest (bow 3)

Chapter 20

"It wasn't that bad," Ryraso grumbled, sitting on the cushions lying not to give in to the urge to lay down and hide his face. 

Pol'ar hummed not quite believing him. "You bit though your lip while having a nightmare and punched a wall enough times to break your wrist," Pol'ar said bluntly. "Even if you were qualified in mind healing, which you are not," he said sharply, as Ryraso looked at him, "You would not be allowed to heal yourself. The mind is tricky and while there are steps you can take on your own, you need someone to help you through."

"And you think getting the person in control of my professional life and my son's to make the assessment is the best way to fix this?" Ryraso asked darkly. As far as he was aware, he hadn't broken any rules. Pushed a few regarding apprentices but nothing that would result in him losing his pass. On the other hand, a mental break would be a reason to suspend him until he was on stable ground. Ryraso didn't want that. He couldn't do want Nel'os did. He needed a job and a reason to wake up in the morning. One of the few glimmers of hope Ryraso had at the moment was waiting to be given a clinic placement. 

"I'm the Royal Physician," Pol'ar said firmly. "I am the one who will do it. I acknowledge it's not ideal but Ry, I'm one of the few people who know their secrets. Do you really want more people to learn." 

"Great," Ryraso exhaled unhappily, finally giving in to the urge and flopping onto the cushions. "Their secrets or my sanity. Lovely," he muttered, grabbing a cushion and gripping it tightly. His entire body was tense and there was no denying he was unhappy at the moment. He wanted to punch something again. Or possibly cry. Neither was a viable option. 

"Ry," Pol'ar said gently. Ryraso said nothing, just holding the cushion and looking blindly ahead. A hand rested on his knee and squeezed gently. "Ryraso," he repeated more firmly. 

Slowly Ryraso sat up, still holding the cushion. "Who am I talking to right now?" he asked seriously. "The person I can trust or the person I can't?" 

"You can trust me. But I can't let dangers to the healing circle's reputation go overlooked Ryraso. Your son was, possibly is, having doubts. I can't let him go forward. You let him learn too young," Pol'ar scolded, knowing exactly what Ryraso was referring to. "I understand were other factors. There must have been. It doesn't change the fact this path is one that can not be doubted or shifted."

"Eyeri said it after being uprooted from everything he knows and trusts," Ryraso defended angrily. "Immediately after he was terrified I was going to disown him or leave him alone. He was beyond scared at the brand. Even with that gone, he had barely had time to recover before you're threatening that everything that he had worked for could be for nothing.  I'm supposed to be protecting him and so far all I've managed to do is get him captured, kidnapped and possibly have the one thing he had found sanctuary in revoked."

Pol'ar smiled sadly. "Eyeri has had a bad hand," he acknowledged. "He is a good worker but I still worry he came to this far too early and with far few options. Eyeri is now safe, he even has his oldest brother with him. So ignoring the judgement I will be bestowing onto the boy, what are you worried about regarding them?"

Ryraso glared at Pol'ar but exhaled. "He still has three brothers who are in the war and who could die at any moment," Ryraso commented darkly, looking at his hands. "Fetmar ended up safe by chance and bad luck on his part. His brothers are not. Oira is only two years older than Eyeri. Makio and Kanan are in dangerous jobs. We have no way of finding out if something bad happens to them."