Atacia Griez Valdimore :
Black
Everyone says that we live with a purpose. Okay, let's say na lahat nga tayo may purpose sa kung bakit tayo nabubuhay sa mundong 'to. So, ano ang purpose ko kung ganoon?
For my twenty eight years of existence, hindi ko pa rin makita ang totoong halaga ko sa mundong 'to. I feel like a trash. Or maybe some kind of thing na napapansin lang kung kinakailangan at agad ding itatapon kapag wala ng pakinabang.
That's how I feel. That's how everyone makes me feel. Eh, kahit nga sarili kong ama parang walang pakialam sa akin pati sa nararamdaman ko. He only cares about his fucking businesses and that fucking position in the politics. As a governor, alam ko na hindi madali ang mga ginagawa niya. Naiintindihan ko ang kawalan niya ng oras para sa akin, pero ang hindi ko maintindihan ay ang pagpilit niya sa akin sa isang taong hindi ko naman gusto. Simula nang mawala si mommy, siya na ang kumukontrol sa buhay ko. Lahat ng gusto niya kailangan kong sundin.
Ayoko na!
"You really wanna get drunk, huh." Farah, my friend commented with a smirk. "So, what?" I rolled my eyes on him.
Tumawa lamang ang bakla at tsaka sumimsim sa kaniyang baso ng alak.
"Ayan na ang dalawa." he said, pertaining to our friends who were walking from the dancefloor with their new guy. Probably their new flavor for the week. "Woah, in fairness dito kay Ava, huh, magaling pumili ng lalaki. Ito rin namang kay Amanda, not bad, but not that good enough." he chuckled.
That's how they play. They easily flirt and get some random guys and fuck. Yes, I play, too. But that's not how I play. I only flirt but I don't fuck. I maybe a badass, but I'm not that cheap to give myself to whoever asshole is ready to break my treasure. After all, I still believe in marriage before you know...
"Ikaw," binaling nitong baklang 'to ang atensyon sa akin, "Bakit hindi ka tumulad sa dalawa para hindi ka nganga,"
I twisted my lips and shook my head.
"I don't have to, Farah. I can live without spreading legs to some stranger, duh." panunuya ko, "I will flirt, yes. But someone will surely come to claim the price when the time comes. I don't need to rush."
He rolled his eyes on me, "Seriously, Tash? You still believe na may mga lalaki pang ganyan? Nowadays, men only used to break a woman's cherry. Wala ng maginoo sa panahon ngayon 'no. Laruan na lang ang tingin ng mga lalaki sa babae ngayon, kaya naman, you better do the same thing to them para fair, 'diba." he said.
I ignored what he said and sipped on my drink. "Whatever!"
"Dios mio! Nakakaloka ka. Ang arte mo." komento niya sa akin, "Just try it once. I'm sure, hindi mo pagsisisihan." he adviced lusciously.
"I won't go that low, darling." I raised my brow on him with a grin, "Huwag mo na akong pilitin. Besides, mataas ang standards ko pagdating sa lalaking pag-aalayan ko ng sarili ko 'no." I chuckled.
He only smirked. "Kaloka, bahala ka nga." he said then left.
I searched for my girl friends but they literally disappeared. In just a few minutes, nakatanggap ako ng text mula sa kanila. Telling me that they're already out of the bar to go somewhere else. Wala namang bago. Usually, kaming dalawa lang talaga ni Farah palagi ang naiiwan. Pero itong si bakla, kung saan-saan lagi napapadpad.
Hindi ko alam kung nakailang baso ng alak na ako, namalayan ko na lamang na sumasabay na ang katawan ko sa bawat kumpas ng malakas na musika sa dancefloor. I swayed my body and danced like a crazy bitch, just like usual.
