Remember Who You Are - Ziam (TopZayn)

Prologue

Who am I? 

What have I become? 

When did I turn to this? 

     My body was thrown on the ground, mud was covering my face, rain was hitting my back. But I didn't move. I laid there like a corpse. All my empty heart could do was forcing me to turn on my back, so I would at least face the sky I once tried to reach. 

Fireworks. 

Red loud fireworks.

     I glanced like the little boy I used to be. The red color was sparkling around the dark night and its voice resembled the music in the bars I loved so much. A forgotten smile crawled over my face. I have gone mad. It wasn't Christmas and I knew it. No celebration was hidden behind these lights. These were flare signals. We were losing. We were screaming for aid. And still I kept grinning, grinning widely, waiting for my finish line, as the slight muscle movement reopened my wounds deeper and fresh blood mixed itself with the dried crimson. 

     Here I was. Resting on the wet ground and waiting. Just waiting. I had enough. I was ready to take a breath and give up. There was a time, when my pride kept me strong. There was a time, I was an invincible warrior. But this was long gone. That soldier was dead. I was only the pathetic shadow he left on his way. And now it was my time to follow him to the sky. I could feel the presence of my fallen brothers, smell the scent of dusk and death, see the burnt branches of the trees. 

     I was disgusted by myself. A once loyal man leaving his own soul and deceiving himself. I promised to win. I promised to solve everything. I promised to return. And I ran away. I ran to the field, asking to be taken away from here. I wanted my escape, leaving him behind in this horrific world. And I left him with no final goodbye. I left him with all my demons torturing his pure heart. And I left myself. I left the ruined version of me, who shielded him from these evil times. I turned my back on both of them. That's the person I turned into these days. A promise I'd kill those who hurt him: that's what I was doing. I was letting the explosion kill me, with the image of his glowing skin in my mind. The memory of his short brown hair tossed messily around his head while he was laughing like a carefree child, the ghosty surface of his soft lips, and the undying sun his eyes held so dearly... I was smiling, covered with the silky shadow of the red lights. I was smiling, even when I thought I'd never get to that again. Even the emptiness of my heart was getting slowly healed. Too bad it was useless after all. It came to this world to fight and to dream. It grew bigger to love and to care. And when it was time for it to burn brighter and embrace its happiness, it was silenced and abused. The pressure cleansed it till the last gleam and left it to lie motionlessly inside my chest. But the warmth of his brown eyes was nursing it, giving it a chance to grow wild once again, to be reminded how I craved for height, to be convinced that I was not hopelessly lost, to remember who I was.

     Raindrops washed away the dust from my forehead. The wind brushed my sweaty hair freely and I stumbled to my side, turning away from the roaring flares. Let them see it. Let them come to help. Let them distinguish alive from dead. But not me. I came to my end. I failed both of us. And for the first time in my life I was willing to let him go. Let him continue his life, away from my toxic thoughts, away from my complex mind. 

     My eyes were getting heavier by each passing second and my ears refused to hear anything. And I wasn't even trying to fight them. I voluntarily closed my eyes, feeling how blood streamed down from the corner of my mouth and dropped on my hand.  Finally the sedative taste of darkness welcomed me and I breathed goodbye to the world I failed to protect.  

Author's Note: The prologue is actually a scene from the middle of the story. So, the chapters will develop to this moment, and I'll let you know when it happens. And, I know this can be confusing, but everything will get clear from chapter 1. 

Love,
LiliJamesTommo