Hi! So this AU takes place after the events of Endgame. Tony survived the snap, but was left badly injured and in a bad mental state.
Warnings: self hate, PTSD (kinda), anxiety, depression, injury scars.
Tony's fingers tapped on the screen aggressively. His whole body was shaking, hand trembling against the screen. Tony slammed his hand against the table, yelling in frustration.
"Tony?" A voice echoed in from the doorway. Tony froze, hearing footsteps approach.
"Why are you yelling?" Steve asked softly, coming into view and sitting down across from Tony. The smaller man shrugged, attaching the three metal pieces to his shoulder. Steve watched as Tony sighed, wiggling the metal fingers around and twisting the wrist. He let the arm fall into his lap, head down and eyes locked on the floor.
Steve sighed, lifting Tony's chin with his finger. Tony's coffee brown eyes were sparkling with tears, his lip quivering and his body trembling.
"Oh baby." Steve whispered, pulling Tony into a hug. Tony quietly sobbed into Steve's shoulder, gripping at the collar of his T-shirt.
Steve pulled away, looking down into Tony's eyes.
"How about we go to sleep, it's late." Steve whispered, cupping Tony's face. Tony's vocal cords weren't working, his voice was too shaky anyways. He just nodded slowly, letting Steve scoop him into his strong arms and carry him upstairs. Steve places Tony on the bed, kissing his forehead.
"I'm going to back downstairs to grab something, give me two minutes." Steve said, walking downstairs. Tony's gaze shifted from Steve's disappearing figure to lay on the full sized mirror leaning against the wall. Tony stood up, walking over to it and slipping off his shirt.
His entire right arm was gone, up to his shoulder bone. Ugly, bright red scars spread from his right shoulder to halfway up his neck and chest, like little spiderwebs. The scars on top half of his neck were faded, almost completely transparent by the time they reached the side of his face. A large, long scar was in the middle of his chest, from the arc reactor removal. His hair was messy and greasy, his eyes tired and sad, red from crying. Tony felt his body shake, the everlasting sobs overtaking his fragile body, causing him to crash to his knees. There were already bruises from how many times he's fallen, or rather crashed to his knees during breakdowns. Tony just sat there, kneeling and staring at himself in the mirror, which only made him want to cry harder.
Steve walked into the room with a blanket, sleeve for Tony's shoulder and a jar in his hands. The sight he saw when he walked I broke his heart. Tony was on the floor, crying at his reflection. Steve set the stuff on the bed, kneeling beside Tony.
"Tony? What's wrong?" Steve whispered, his own voice shaking. Tony outstretched a trembling finger, pointing at his reflection. Steve felt his heart break into a thousand pieces. Steve knew what that gesture meant.
"Tony. No. Baby look at me." Steve said, and Tony turned his head towards him, staring into those piercing blue eyes, filled with worry and fear. Tony's eyes were red, filled with sadness. The tears left tracks along both of his cheeks, and Steve watched as another fell from the smaller man's eye, slowly dripping down to his chin. Steve lifted his hand, cupping Tony's face. Tony leaned into the touch, and Steve wiped away the tear with his thumb.
"It's okay, I love you Tony. I know you don't believe me, but I love you so much." Steve said, and Tony sniffled.
"Why?" He asked, voice hoarse and cracking.
"Why? Because you saved the world. Tony you saved the entire universe. Because you are the smartest man I've ever met. You're the most beautiful person I've ever made eye contact with, you're so kind, you deserve everything and more." Steve said, causing Tony to practically explode with sobs, falling into Steve.
"I don't know what I'd do without you." Tony said, and Steve kissed his head. The super soldier scooped Tony up, placing him sitting on the bed. Steve carefully took apart the iron arm, putting it into its case. He dipped his fingers into the jar, rubbing the watery blue solution onto Tony's shoulder and neck. Tony had invented a scar fading serum, it's how he got the face scars to become pretty much invisible, but those were less intense. These scars weren't going away, and Tony knew that, but it helped.
Steve slipped on the little sleeve, using gentle and careful movements. After he was done, he wrapped Tony up in the blanket, sitting next to him. Tony's eyes shifted to the mirror again, examine his horrible state. Steve noticed, and suddenly got up, walking over and turning the mirror to face the wall. He walked back over to Tony, embracing the smaller man in a tight and reassuring hug.
"You're beautiful baby, I love you." Steve said, tightening his protective grip on Tony, wanting to hold him forever.
