Her Seduction

The realisation

|Elijah's p.o.v|
I've made so many mistakes that I could only begin to write them out, one by one,before death crept up upon me oh to soon. There are so many mistakes to be made and I've made them all. Every last one of them. And without even realising, i was losing the only stable thing in my life. I was losing the only real chance of happiness you could afford giving the life that was forced upon me. I wished to be normal. I wished to be everything to her. But upon a series of unfortunate events i witnessed the fire inside of her slowly dull, then be completely put out by my habit of ruining her. Because that's what I do; i ruins things.

I reminisced on the time i spent with her. The time i should've spent cherishing her instead of hurting her time and time again. I had no fucking idea of the mess I'd caused and the storm I'd started inside of her.I thought i could protect her from anything but i never thought I'd have to protect her from myself. I wanted to let her go, so many times, tell her to start over. But, how could i when i was more myself when she was with me. I basked In her presence and adored her laughter. It was the most melodious sound to ever fill my ears.

I finds myself sitting alone, avoiding her. I reminisced the days where her smart mouth challenged me and her actions were fuelled by so much fire, the air between them would fill with smoke. I should have been aware that so much character could only lead to destruction. And destruct is what was happening. I toyed with her, I couldn't tell her why her words stung when she admitted to sleeping with other people. I couldn't tell her because I still don't know why that was. Why her actions caused me pain, but then maybe I did.

I want to show her my truth. The whole truth. The truth I've kept hidden away in fear of self destruction. It's selfish, god it's so fucking selfish. Sometimes it better to be to be consumed by darkness where there's still hope. I want to reveal my truth to her in hope she'll look past my flaws and anger and accept me for me, the true me. The man with a broken past and too much pride to admit his wrong doings. After that, I'll give her the option to run a mile or stay.

If she chooses to stay we'll work on this, day by day, but progress nonetheless. It scared the shit out of me but I know she needs this and that's what I'll let be the ruin of me.

"I thought we were over this whole betraying thing. Remember what happened last time?" Her words stung, I couldn't explain the ache in my chest or the catching of ones breath when her words hit me like a ton of bricks that had been crushed by a wrecking ball. I was speechless at the time- I couldn't explain to her that my lack of trust comes from a broken past. I'm not making excuses, hell, there's nothing to excuse. I can only apologise and if that doesn't work and she wants to leave, I'll let her.

There's no going back. If she wants out, that's what she'll get. She won't be forced into this life like I was. She won't be ruined by this life like I was.

It was late. I could tell by the lack of voices or foot steps sounding from outside my office door. It had been days since I'd seen Melanie-Rose, she avoided coming onto this floor, she dined after me. She'd become a ghost to me that only haunted my thoughts.

As if my feet where working against my brain, I find myself standing outside her door. I crack her door open to reveal her sleeping soundly under the silk sheets, her lips parted slightly as soft exhales escape in an almost rhythmic pace. She looks angelic as her disheveled curls drape over her face. I undo my top two buttons on my shirt and kick my shoes off, before climbing in next to her.

She shuffles a little, her head finding its place on my chest. God, I've missed this feeling. I reach down to carefully brush the hair off of her face and tuck it behind her ear. Her eyelids flutter open nonchalantly as she cautiously raises her head to look up at me.

We both remain silent, afraid to interrupt peace.

She continues to gaze up at me as I do her but she never tells me to leave or push me away. My hand squeezes her waist gently as if not to break her. She scoots her body closer to mine; basking in the warmth my body radiates. Her leg raises over mine and her arm falls over my chest- our bodies moulding together until we're uncertain where one of us starts and the other ends. I've missed the intimacy between us more than the sex which is unusual as it's usually been about the sex. Now, I find myself wanting more than just that, I want everything else she has to offer.

" i do trust you mi amore." i do trust her, as much as it has been a challenge for me to even remotely entertain the idea of letting someone in, i know i need to if i want to keep her around- i sure as hell do. "A few years ago my brother was killed by the Russians." The memory of him has killed me since the day we lost him.

"He was my other half- the better fucking half. After his death, i became the worst version of myself. I was always different from my siblings; couldn't show affection to anyone- not even my parents. When i lost him, it took any hopes of goodness out of me. He made me sane and without him i turned into a heartless monster." I turned to face her and noticed she was already staring at me intently. she carefully reached up, placing her delicate touch on my cheek, brushing it back and forth in a comforting motion. She wasn't too good for me- she was too good for this world.

"you're not a heartless monster." she spoke softly.

"you changed me Melanie-Rose. You make me want to be a better person, I'll never be completely good or the person you need but i sure as hell won't be the same monster i was before you" I suck in a breath knowing that my next words could result in me losing her for good.

"But i can't be selfish with you. I dragged you into my world- this life, knowing the risks. but, you, you were blindsided and that was unfair and selfish of me. I want you to listen to everything I have to say and then you can decide if you want to stay or leave." Her eyes stayed stuck on me like she was in a trance, her breathing becoming ragged and intercepted. She nodded her head slowly as if scared to give a response.

"You mean more to me than you'll ever know but this life has risks. Every day we wake up, we do so knowing this might be our last day alive. We've got a lot of respect in America as you know, mainly in NewYork; the police, the people and the smaller gangs respect and help us. We don't hurt innocents, we traffic guns and we work on hits but only bad people. We protect the city rather than destroy it but we also piss a lot of people off while doing what we're doing. The Russians, for example, are an old feud between my ancestors when they ran the mafia, they've held on to that and will do anything in their power to weaken us. That's why they-"

"Why they killed your brother." She sighed.

"Elijah i'm not blindsided to the mafia; i was engaged to mafia man. I know you're not angels but you're wrong if you think that's the type of man I want. I need the fear, call me a weirdo but the adrenaline of this is what makes it fun." She chuckles lightly.

I bring my lips down to meet her soft, plump ones and she immediately reacts to my touch. She always does. i trace my tongue along her bottom lip and she instantly parts her lips, giving me full access. She doesn't fight me or try to control the kiss, for once, she's happy trusting me.

Like i should her my subconscious mocks.

This is it. This is a new chapter for the both of us and I'll bring hell upon anyone who tries to take her from me.

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