lollipop ¦ sdp

05¦lollipop

entry 05

at first i found it strange that eversince our little conversation on the bleachers, dongpyo became less talkative to me. he would sometimes stop by at my desk to say a few greetings but then he'd mostly come up to the girl he supposedly like at the classroom. he'd make her laugh and smile and then, he'd caught me staring, and then he'd look away and ignore me. but then when he ignores me, it felt like he wasn't because i can feel his stare all day. it's as if he's observing my moves and i didn't know whether to get worried about that.

but then his birthday came a few days later. they celebrated at his home. his friends seungwoo, hangyul, dohyon, hyungjun and even yein was there. while waiting for them he decided to visit me at home though. he went straight inside after greeting me and i was thankful that i had just cleaned up the mess in the living room. he was surprised to see that a big space like my home would be empty.

"so you really live alone? that's sad." he pouted, slumping down the sofa and looking around my house as if this was the first time he had been here. "i finally notice how big your house is when your mom's not around. the mood in this place makes me so sad."

"it wasn't supposed to feel this empty. my mom and dad had work at another city and they had to take my little sister. i insisted that i'd stay here just until i finish my last year at highschool." i silently sat beside him, his petite body was still sprawled on the sofa. he was staring at me again and he giggled.

"sorry. it's just that.." he smiled and for a moment i thought his eyes were admiring me. "so you put your hair up when you're at home. i guess that's why.."

my eyes widened. i forgot i tied my hair up into a ponytail, and it always made me uncomfortable whenever someone sees my hair up.

"that's why what?" i asked nervously, staring away. my heart skipped a beat when he suddenly rests his head on my shoulder and i let my mind wander, completely forgetting the fact that he was still a boy and we were alone at my house.

"that's why you're especially pretty today." he quietly whispered in my ear before snuggling back to hug my arm.

[A/N: onEURUN yUNANHI NAEGA IPPEO BOINDAAAAA YE YE YEEEE]

i can feel the butterflies poking at my stomach as the blood flowed to fill my cheeks. i wondered if he noticed the smile in my lips when i heard him say that.

we stayed like that, talking softly to each other, but he was oblivious of my racing heartbeat all the time.

when his phone rang, he had to go out to meet his friends and he pleaded for what felt like the tenth time and requested that i'd come at his birthday party.

"please~ mom's expecting you as well. you don't have to talk to my friends if you don't want to."

"i don't even have a gift to bring. it'll be awkward." i uneasily say, avoiding his eyes and his pouting lips.

"i ask for your presence, not a gift." he hugged my neck, resting his chin on top of my head. he's done a lot of skinships with me but i can't help but feel nervous whenever he does. he whines, swinging my body.

when i mumbled a quick alright, i shooed him away so he could take care of his friends. he giggled happily.

"i'll be waiting for you." he winked at me before waving a quick goodbye.

every interaction i got, my heart never gets tired of fluttering for him. i sighed, looking down at my clothes. i only wore sweatpants and a sweatshirt and yet, he called me pretty. i wasn't sure what to wear since its been a while since i've attended a party.

and even though it was only at his house, i wore a simple knee length midnight blue dress with a pair of sneakers. i left my hair tied into a bun and i kept wondering whether i was too formal but i already rang the bell before my anxiety could take the best of me. it was already getting dark and when dongpyo opened the door to his house, his face lightened under the moonlight. he was wearing jeans, button up shirt and a pink shirt underneath and his bangs were neatly covering his forehead, but i could still see his sparkling eyes.

he was expressionless at first, but when he took a slow gaze at me, he broke into a wide smile, suddenly pulling me by the arm and burying his face in my neck.

"w-what? what happened?" i asked, unsure of what to say next.

"i'm just happy, that's all." he laughed softly and led me inside, i could already hear the loud chatter of his friends.

when i saw all of them, i can't help but let out an uneasy smile. they were all wearing casual clothes, even yein already looked dashing wearing a sweater and jeans, her elegant figure was conspicuous. i awkwardly stared down at my sneakers when their talk came to a stop and they all had their eyes on me. until i heard a whistle.

"damn lee y/n, you know how to dress up." hangyul said, keeping a steady eye on him. he groaned when he was slapped on the back of his head by seungwoo.

"smart. inviting both girls he'd been having an interest on." dohyun commented silently, but enough for me to hear. another slap from seungwoo.

seungwoo seems to notice that i'm feeling awkward. i hope he also didn't notice how i'm hating myself at that moment. i felt stupid to dress this way and my sensitivity rose up and suddenly i felt like crawling into a cave and cry there.

"don't mind them y/n. you look nice." he held a thumbs up, and his usually playful grin, turned into a genuine one. i am quite surprised that he actually had a calm side in him. he was usually scary.

i blush slightly at the compliment but it helped my nerves. reassurance was all i needed and i felt thankful to seungwoo.

but then my eyes fell back to yein who gave me a small smirk and i feel like i shouldn't have gone here.

i never wanted to see him here together with another girl. but i shouldn't be affected by it right?

it's only a crush right?