Real(ity) Feelings

Chapter 17

Dianne felt as though she was suffocating. As Marco reached his hands out to lightly massage her shoulders, she did her best to stop from recoiling away from his touch, still aware of the cameras watching their every move. When he opened his mouth to speak, his words were almost completely taken over by the roaring sound in her ears. But she still heard him.

"It's been so long since we danced in Melbourne," he finished, a soft smile on his face. Dianne winced as she broke eye contact, looking down at the ground. She could feel Joe physically - and probably mentally - move away from her, and it felt like his eyes were burning into her soul as she felt his stare.

Her mind was a flurry of activity, trying to figure out the right response - for Marco, for Joe, for the cameras. Taking a deep breath, she tried to smile, knowing she likely looked pained, before replying quietly, "It's been a few years, Marco."

He nodded, tilting his head as he tried to read her expression. "We'll catch up, yeah?"

She mustered up enough energy to nod back, a split second later, she realized Joe had turned from the bar and retreated back to the mansion, moving so quickly she wasn't able to even reach a hand out to stop him.

---

Joe felt the blood in his veins run cold as Marco finished his sentence. "It's been so long since we danced in Melbourne. WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?"Joe could hear his internal voice growling. He quickly looked down and saw Dianne looking at the ground. He felt one brief second of relief before suddenly she was responding, acknowledging that what he said was true. They knew each other.

Joe heard Marco promising her they'd catch up later, and he saw Dianne nod. Without realizing what he was doing, he turned on his heel and stalked back across the lawn toward the mansion. He had to get of here. He had to get away from him...and her. And everyone.

He wasn't seeing straight as he slammed the glass door behind him, making his way toward the foyer, finding himself in one of the hidden alcoves, sliding down the wall and ending up seated on the floor. His blood was pumping through his veins so strongly he could feel his heartbeat in every part of his body.

"Why are you so angry?" the rational side of him asked himself. "So Dianne knows Marco? So what?"

But the combination of the morning's events - when he confessed his feelings and had watched Dianne's mix of emotions in response, their lack of communication leading up to Marco's entrance, and finally the icing on the cake - the obvious history between his partner and the new guy - all added up into a weird swirl of emotions that was hard for Joe to handle.

Joe didn't do emotions. He usually escaped before things got too much - in any direction. Too confusing, too difficult, too weird. Those were his signals to exit. But he couldn't exit this time. He was stuck here in the Oasis Island house for another two weeks.

"One week, if Dianne ditches you for Marco", that internal voice reminded him.

He rubbed his hands over his face, willing himself to calm down. He knew he had overreacted and he needed to go back outside. He needed to talk to Dianne and figure out what was going on.

---

Dianne felt numb as the group began to break apart after Joe's quick exit. She knew she needed to find him and talk to him - to explain it all. But something stopped her. She hadn't known Joe long enough to know how he handled emotions this complex - did he like talking things out? Or did he like being left alone?

"You've known him for three weeks, that's not enough time to figure someone out," Dianne heard her inner voice cry out. "And besides, you were the one who left him hanging this morning."

She sucked in a shaky breath before turning toward the mansion, hoping to just crawl into bed and will this day to be over.

Before she could make it to the glass door, she felt a hand on her wrist. Snapping her head up, she made eye contact with Marco, who was staring at her intensely.

"Can we talk?" he asked in a low voice.

Dianne shook her head and continued to walk toward the door, but she felt a light tug on her wrist.

"Please," he whispered.

She let out a loud sigh. She had two options. Get this over with now, or stew about it for the next few days until it inevitably happened anyway. Yanking her hand away, she walked toward the daybed in the cabana next to the pool, hearing his footsteps behind her.

She sat down stiffly on the edge of the bed, grateful when he sat about a foot away from her, also on the edge of the cushion.

"Dianne, believe me. I didn't know you would be here," Marco started in a hushed voice.

Dianne looked away. It was still hard to look him in the eye, even after all these years.

"Look, I know it's hard to trust me, but I had no idea. They did ask me a lot about my dancing career and our...our past...but I never gave out names or anything. They must have done some crazy research or something..."

"It wouldn't take much," Dianne heard herself interrupting him abruptly. "Our competition pictures are all over the Internet if you know where to look. Which they would, since they pretty much have access to my entire background."

Marco was silent, contemplating his next words.

"I'm...sorry?" he stated, sounding more like a question than a statement.

At this, Dianne felt a flash of rage rush through her veins. "No you aren't." she hissed back. "Don't pretend to be something you're not. We've been through this before, haven't we, Marco?"

She felt her rage continue as flashes of her past came back to her brain. This felt like it was too soon, even though it had been three years.

"No, Dianne, truly, I am," Marco whispered back, reaching out to grab her hand. "I'm so sorry that it ended the way it did. I know we lost in Melbourne..."

Dianne felt the tears forming in her eyes and she couldn't control the tremble in her voice as she quickly interrupted, "That's not what this is about Marco. I don't give a fuck that we lost in Melbourne. Yes, dancing was my life, but that's not why I left, and you know it."

"It was a crazy time. I was so in over my head...I let myself get pulled in...in the wrong direction..." Marco trailed off, trying in vain to respond appropriately.

She stood up quickly, needing to escape the stifling conversation that was just bringing back nightmares from her past. He held on to her hand, as she looked down at him, tears falling as she tried to wrench her hand from his. Through tears, she heard herself cry, "It's not even about you. It's about me. I was the idiot that was stupid enough to fall in love with you."

Turning on her heel, she looked up, falling immediately into Joe's light blue eyes. He was stood a few feet away, his eyes first focused on their joined hands, and then on her face. She felt as though her heart was breaking as a crestfallen look suddenly shadowed his face. She wasn't sure how much he had heard - but it was clear that he had caught the last few words.

"Joe, please, wait," she called out as he turned and headed inside.

He didn't look back, slamming the glass door for the second time that evening, as Dianne felt like her entire world came crashing down around her.