Stay || Martinus G ||

Part 11

He still has his hand in my chin

"Do you mean it? So every moment that we lived together was a lie? You never loved me? Why? "

His eyes are already swollen because of the lack of sleep and now they start turning red and filling with tears.

I swallow hard and try to calm.

"Martinus I love you...but not in the way you want. It is unfair for you...It's complicated for me. I though that I really wanted you, but I understood that I just wanted to convince myself that I was over my ex boyfriend"

His hand falls in his body. I see a tear in his cheek but he quickly wipes it off.

He sits in the bed and put on his shoes. I don't move at all...I am just watching him. He stands up again and comes in front of me.

He places his cold hands in my hot cheeks.

"I never asked for much love. I just need a drop of your love and I can give you my whole heart...well...I have already given it to you. I never asked for a perfect person...for a wealthy girlfriend...for an always happy human. I asked for a real one. And I found it on you. I am in love with you...I love everything in you. I thought that you liked me. I thought that you felt the same as me. I felt like we both love each other. Probably I was wrong...maybe it was a dream and you just woke me up. I hope you are better without me...hope things will work again with you and your ex..hope you will be happy. If you need something I will be here...but not for ever"

he wispers and leaves a sweet kiss on my lips. He turns and leaves. I see him leaving without doing anything. This is what I wanted..right?

I kick the door with my leg and jump in my bed crying. I am trying to convince myself that it's the best that could happen.

It was easier than I thought...now I can continue my life as I was doing before.

I hear my mum come in my bedroom and strokes my back

"Baby this boy loves you"

"Mum forget him...don't talk again for him"

"Alina...think about it again. You deserve a good boyfriend"

"Mum...can you please stop?"

"okay sorry...get ready..we have to go to the doctor"

I nod and she leaves closing the door behind her.

My shoulder hurts as hell...Of course I didnt say the truth to Martinus. He would ask more and I couldn't tell him something like : "yeah it's nothing special...I just had a surgery on Saturday in Oslo cause I have leukemia and they actually had to take a whole part of me and blah blah blah"

I stand up and change clothes. I look myself in the mirror and I see that these days I have lost some weight.

Maybe its because these days I don't eat a lot. Nevermind...I go outside and I can't find my mum..oh she must be waiting for me in the car. I open the door and I see her in the car. I throw myself in the back seats and she starts driving.

I look outside the window just to make myself not thinking about Martinus. But I suddenly see him in the dark..He is with someone else..Ohh she is Karoline....

I won't let myself cry...I must be happy...but this is his love? He found new girl in one hour? Fortunately mum increase the speed and I lose them fast.

We reach at the doctor and I straight ask her

-So how did the surgery go?

-I dont know yet Alina...The important is how your body will respond to this. I have to take some blood from you to see how it is. You have to keep the same therapy and if it doesnt work...We will find another one