annihilated. /mcr fanfic (pt. 2 of resurrected, completed)

chapter 1

my bedroom has been completely untouched in the past three years. still the same dull grey walls.. still the same lumpy twin sized bed.. still the same faded wooden floors covered in the same cat hair.
"theo's not going to be happy," my mom said from the door frame, leaning a shoulder against one edge with her arms crossed. "that's his bed."
i set my bags down on the ground. "he'll just have to learn to share," i said, and scratched the space behind this fat black cats ear. he started purring instantly. little did he know, he'd have to beg for my moms attention with me around. i'd be glad to let him have it but she doesn't budge that easily.
there's a reason my brother called her. there's a reason he made her swoop in and whisk me away.
i know he meant well, but fuck!
i sighed and sat down next to theo. he was basically petting himself with my hand now, just shoving his face into it again and again.
"well, i'll leave you two to duke out your sleeping arrangements. i'll be downstairs, making your favorite." she smiled. "well, rob is making your favorite. i'm... doing the best i can," she laughed.
its weird... she seems genuinely happy. must be the new meds or something.
i smiled and nodded, and with that she went downstairs.
"okay, bud," i said quietly. "we can work this out."
i laid down sideways beside him with my legs hanging off the bed.
"you can sleep in this bed, so long as you soak up her attention like a little kitty sponge," i scratched behind his ear some more, to really seal the deal. "maybe i'll throw you some extra treats, and jelly and tina will be so jealous. come on, bud. work with me here. tell me what you want. help me help you."
i dont know why andy had to send me here- i'm fully capable of doing things. maybe i'm not fully capable of properly feeding myself or thriving in independence, but i can hold a good, full conversation with a cat. not only that, but i'm exceedingly talented at pretending like my entire life hasn't been falling apart this entire time.
not convinced? check this out.
i get up. i put my clothes in the drawers. i put my toiletries in the bathroom. i put my artwork in and on my desk. i put everything in its place. not only that, but the entire time i'm completely blocking out any thoughts about gerard. i'm shutting out all of the "did"'s and "meant"'s and all the other past tenses.... and his face.... and his kiss... and i'm forgetting all of it, not thinking about it, nope, not at all.
and when everything is put away, i put my bags in the closet. i sit back down with theo on my bed. i tell him about how i have to start working if im going to live here. here, the city, a whopping 30 mins from where i used to be.
i tell him it will be easy. i'll get a bullshit job selling asswater coffee to pissed off businessmen and sweaty hipsters at a coffee shop, or stock books at a book store near a university i could never afford to study at. theo loves everything i tell him, because i tell him as im petting him. he's happy to hear that i'm doing great, i have goals, i'm here to focus on myself, and i wont even think about gerard once- or twice.
then my mom calls me down for dinner, and i find her setting the dishes down for three at a four person table. rob's just settling into the uncomfortable wooden chair, the one that must be twice as old as i am.
"you still like eggplant parm?" he asked and grunted as he shifted his seat closer to the table. his tiny potbelly was just touching the edge now. he pushed his thin-wired coke bottle glasses up and served himself first.
"love it," i said quietly after a sip of water. my mom smiled at me, then her husband. her tiny blonde ramen-noodle curls bounced with the motions. they fell just to her chin. her brown roots were growing in, but they werent so brown anymore with all that gray. jeez, jane, how old are you now? 50?
i served myself next. the trick is to grab what looks like a lot and spread it out to cover the plate, but do all of this quickly and without clear intention. it takes months of practice. maybe years.
then i pass the pasta and eggplant on to my mom.
rob clears his throat and really looks at me. i was almost startled, sitting there, making full eye contact with him. he didnt even look away when i did.
my mom sets the food down and folds her hands at her chin. "annie, would you like to say grace?"
i looked at her, then rob, unsure if this was a joke my mom was never anti-religion, per say, but grace before dinner? this was unheard of.
but, andy said she had been acting differently lately. all "let your true light shine" and "wake up at 6am to do yoga before church". not out of character, but definitely very different from the old plain jane we used to know.
i shook my head. "i dont really remember it."
she shrugged and motioned for me to grasp my hands together at my chin. when i did, she said it herself.
her and rob both had their eyes closed for this process, the process of thanking the imaginary sky god for growing these vegetables and grains with his goodness, and lending his forgiveness for our sins, (especially mine, but she didnt have to say that- i know she was saving those prayers for the bedroom alter) and for bringing me back home tonight. grace.
and i slowly dug in, but not too slowly.
rob and jane talked about work for a little bit. robs a teacher and janes a teacher and they fell in love in the hall way, so romantic. romantic despite the part where she was cheating on my dad for a man who was cheating on his husband. hey, it's fine. god forgives us at the table alter, but most especially does he forgive us at the bedroom alter.
god might not feel very bitter about it, but i do.
"so how's dad?" i asked my mom when things got quiet again.
she glanced up at me. "he's fine, i guess. just al being al. last i heard from him, he was in arizona, managing a nursing home or something like that. he does just fine."
i nodded. a tiny gray cotton ball brushed by my foot, asking me please, please drop some for me. you know ill turn my nose up at it, but it would give you an excuse to stop eating for a moment.
so i do. i take a bare, unbreaded piece of eggplant and offer it to her tiny fuzzy face. jelly turns her nose up at it, as expected, and walks off to the kitchen where the real bikkies are.
"so, annie," rob says and clears his throat. he wipes his face with a napkin. he leans his elbows against the table. "i know this is your first day here, but its going to get really boring really fast... your mother and i will start working long hours in a couple of days once school picks back up. there's a couple of places around here that are hiring..."
we dont want you sitting inside not eating everything in the house and not buying useless bullshit at the local target, pull yourself up by your boot straps and get a job like the rest of us, kid. got it, rob.
"yeah, i was eyeing up the book store on the corner," i said with spaghetti in my mouth. i swallowed.
he nodded and shrugged. "the guy down at the bodega is pretty nice, too. i know him pretty well, he said he'd give you some work if youre interested."
oh, so it's not even a choice where i waste my time when you're not here. not only do i have to police my eating habits around you, i have to follow your mundane checklist of mundane day to day projects now.
all because jane thinks you have a better dick or something like that. whatever. ill work for your local bodega man.
i hope he has a bodega cat.