Valeria- Damien Wayne

Suffocating

The team had managed to transport all of us injured people inside. The bat needed a ventilator. I need a nap and cyborg had passed out. While the team waited for him to awaken i took a much needed nap under the watchful eye of gideon and damien. He was splitting himself in two with checking on me and making sure his father didn't die, I tried to get him to lighten up on the worrying I had a feeling that with my recent development from my parents my wounds would be healed soon and my body wouldn't ache as much. I was right.

I woke up less than an hour later feeling like I had a new body. My skin was glowing, literally and all of the cuts and bruises I had received in the last 2 day were gone the only thing left was the bruised scar that demon flash had left in my chest when he impaled me. My body itself hasn't changed much other than the otherworldly glow and the shift in my aura that seemed to give me the same feeling as a venus fly trap. Beautiful and sweet until it snaps its jaws shut and kills you. I suddenly gained the vibe of a dangerous beauty. My other mother would have been proud. I looked exactly like what she was training me to be, irresistible and deadly.

Aura and body aside. My mind seemed to be nowhere near as powerful as my birth parents think I am. All I could think of was demon flash impaling me. It came to me in flashes at first like my brain had been trying to push the memory back. After all my father (for all intents and purposes) had shoved his hand into my chest and killed me. A man i trusted with everything, the only person who could get me to open up, had killed me. Or at least his face had. Everything felt like it was in the air. Suddenly I felt like my legs had been kicked out from under me and I didn't know what to do. It was getting hard to breath, and my mind felt like I was drowning in open space. 

I scrambled out of the bed and flung myself in the closet in my room. Anything to get away from the endless loneliness; the sense that without dad i would never be able to be ok. Like suddenly now that he and I aren't on the same side, I didn't know why I was here. My mind was racing and my stomach started to lurch. Tears were streaming down my face. I was completely breathless at this point and the pit in my stomach had grown into one of nauseous. It was like I was drowning even though I wasn't surrounded by water. I couldn't find my way out of it.

“Vale? Honey your ok. Your safe i promise ” 

I could hear what cory was saying but it didn't register. I new i heard words but their meaning flew by my brain and were drowned out in the pit in my stomach that seemed to be suffocating me. 

“Vale you need to breathe.” 

I'm trying.

“Listen, I'm going to call your mom. Everything will be ok.”

Which mom?

“Vale? Sweetheart. I know your struggling but i need to know you can hear me.”

Iris’s voice broke through the suffocating pit and finally rang in my mind. I nodded.

“She nodded. She can hear you”

“Sweetheart i need you to think about 5 things you can see.” 

I opened my eyes. 1 i can see cory. 2 i can see the closet i'm in. 3 i can see the clothes that were hung up on the rack. 4 i can see the light from the room I was in. 5 i can see the phone iris’s voice is coming out of.

“She’s calmer now”

“Alright now tell me 4 things you can touch”

“Cory. The wall. The doorknob. The floor.” I replied shaky with a breath in between each item.

“Good. Now tell me 3 things you can hear.”

“You. The buzzing from the light. Cory breathing” my voice was steadier now. I took a calming breath between each item i listed

“Better. Now tell me 2 things you can smell.”

“Cory’s perfume and sanitizer.” my voice was steady the tears that once clouded my vision were gone. I wiped my face and started to get myself together. 

“Now tell me something you can taste.”

“The sanitizer in the air. It tastes like rubbing alcohol” it felt like I was coming out of a fog. My head hurt and so did my chest from trying to breathe so hard

“Good. How you feelin Vale?” 

“Better. What happened to me?”

“You had a panic attack. Your father used to get them sometimes after and during a particularly nasty case. But your ok now. Do you think you can tell me what's bothering you?”

The demon that inhabited dad killed me and I made dad and the demon one person. I just started to feel really alone and abandoned. I didn't compartmentalize it. And now i have to save him from that bastard- i can't tell her that. She’ll freak the fuck out.

“I have to save dad. He’s in trouble and things just got really overwhelming for a second. But like you said. I'm ok now. The team and I will handle it.”

“Ok sweetheart. Call me if you need me. I'm here. I love you.”

“Ok. thank you. Love you too”

I need a second alone. I need to think if I don't then i'm going to go into this rushed and mess up. 

“Cory i'm fine. I just need a second alone.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

With that said i sat there and thought about everything. I thought about how I would save barry.  I would have to siphon trigon and figure out what Jaime did to knock the demon out of cyborg and do it to my old man. I have to win.

So I got up and swallowed the lump in my throat and waited with the team for cyborg to wake up.

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Kind of a a filler i know. i've been going through some stuff and needed to be in the mental space for me to be able to write again. sorry it took so long. love you all dearly
hope you enjoyed <3
~Chuchi