The Life We Live

Agony

I stayed silent as he made his way towards my desk.

"What's been going on with you?" He asks worriedly searching my face for an answer as he leaned back against the desk that was in front of mine. I looked back at him my annoyance spreading across my face I said nothing in return.

"So you going to ignore me?" He asks raising his eyebrow questioningly and sighs at my silence in response. "I mean I know your always quiet but the look of despair on your face and the distance in your eyes worries me.." he begins.

"I'm fine." I snap knowing I'm lying knowing deep down inside my heart hurts. If Davon dies that's the 3rd brother we've lost in a year , 10 to be exact because 7 of them were in jail facing serious chargers. "They move too sloppy" my fathers words play thru my head as Mr. Jone's words snap me out of my thoughts.

"Well I'm here if you ever need to talk.." he states thankfully not pushing the issue any further. "And your test," he states smiling as he begins walking towards his desk grabbing a paper from the top of a pile of other papers that are test, I assume. "You have the highest score in the class!" He exclaims with bright eyes looking into my face. I keep my face straight staring back at him blankly while shrugging my shoulders, his eyes stay bright but his smile begins to drop.

"Come on Nae, you should at least be happy about that." He pushes.

"Happy for what?!" I finally say not being able to stop the anger that releases from my body. "Everybody around me is dying, you think I give a fuck about a test result!" I snap not being able to maintain the agony built up inside me. "They all graduated, and look where they ended up." I spit out  making my way towards the classroom door to exit. I knew Mr.Jone's actions were to lighten my mood but I wasn't in no mood to think about the positive. He was taken aback from my reaction but quickly recovered.

"It was the decisions they made after..." he continued to say as I walked out of the classroom, letting the door slam behind me, and into the hallways, ducking into the bathroom so no one would see the tears that streamed down my face.

I rushed into a stall closing the door behind me and leaning my back against it as I held my hand over my mouth to cover the sobs that escaped my lips. I had been holding this in for a while, I played the tough roll but deep down inside I had feelings, feelings that I never let show.

"Kyree kept looking at me all day today!" someone said as they walked into the bathroom. "He could get this shit anytime anywhere" she continued gloating. I rolled my eyes as I wiped the tear residue off my face grapping a tissue to wipe my nose.

"You're so lucky bitchh!" Another girl gassed, which I assumed was her friend. I rolled my eyes once again as they praised this boy. He was handsome but he was just like all these other nagas, caught up in the streets with nothing going for hisself.

"I think ima stop holding out and let him hit." She admits to her friend.

"Bitch it's only been a week." Her friend adds causing them both to bust out laughing.

"I know..." the girl begans "but fuck it he's worth it." She finishes.

"Yeah I'd be a Thot for him too" her friend admits causing them to roar with laughter. I walked out of the stall towards the mirror causing them both to look my direction then back at each other and again they're laughing. I rolled my eyes in annoyance, taking everything in me not to say something to them. What's so funny i thought to myself as I washed my hands.

"Wassup Nae?" One of them says cooly causing me to look in their direction, once my eyes are fixed on her I nod towards her. It's Sharee, she is always talking bout nagas and they are always talking about her. "She's bad" they would say "Id spend a rack on that" they'd praise. I never really had a problem with her. Her sidekick Dina on the other hand was a straight dickrider, and I didn't like that. She was always up my ass trying to get me to fuck with her but after she saw I wasn't up to it, she buried herself in Sharee's ass and stayed there. Sharee would literally shit on Dina and Dina would take it just to fit in and be seen. I needed all solid bitches around me. Sharee was too loud and always getting into shit , she moved here from philly and felt like she had a point to prove. She got busy with them hands though, but still wasn't my cup of tea.