Solace (Walking Dead/Rick Grimes)

You Wish You Were Dead

"Mama, if we go, how will daddy know where we are?"

I hoisted the backpack up, turning around to look at Jesse.

"Daddy knows sweetheart. I leave a note."

"Really?" He adjusted the too-big baseball cap on his head, turning up to look at me.

"Really baby. Now come on, we've got to get moving. If we don't move, then-"

"Then it'll get dark and walking at night is never an option." He finished, hopping up and down.

"That's right, now Jesse, please stop jumping, you're making too much noise." I put my hands down on his little shoulders, and he stopped. His black hair was getting too long now, it curled under the cap. I hesitantly reached up to take his cap off and brush his hair back, but he reached out to stop me.

"Mama, don't!" His voice was shrill, but hurt. He never wanted to take that cap off. Lucas was the only one who convinced him, but Lucas wasn't here anymore.

"Alright, alright. Now c'mon, I saw a little store down the street. Maybe they'll have goldfish crackers!" Jesse reached for my hand, and we walked towards the door. I had checked the window already, only one or two of those things were shuffling around. It would be pretty easy to take them out.

Leaving behind our shelter for the night, I clutched Jesse close to me, keeping one hand around him, and the other around my crowbar. I really needed to get a new weapon, this one was getting too dull. Jesse kept his eyes on the ground, only looking up once or twice.

I wish I could carry him, shield him from looking at these things. But that would slow us down, and at this time, we couldn't afford to go slow. I saw the 7-11 right up ahead. Maybe there would be supplies, hopefully. "Almost there baby." I whispered.

The door slid open, only a small whoosh of air emitting. I kept Jesse behind me, my eyes scanning every single crack and corner it could. Empty. At least it seemed that way.

"Mama, are there goldfish?" He squeezed my hand with his two little ones.

"I'm not sure, let's check." We walked slowly past the rows of empty shelves. Ransacked. Every single bit. I spotted a single packet of beef jerky, and reached to grab it. I quickly tossed it to the floor, it was covered in maggots.

"Mama, there aren't any goldfish." He was heartbroken.

"We'll find some sweetie, don't worry. Mama will find you some." His lip trembled for a second, but then he nodded. We left the store, only having found one bottle of water and a pack of Ritz crackers.

"Mama, when will I go back to school?"

"Later baby. Do you miss school?"

He nodded, "I miss Mrs. Thomsen. She always read us picture books and let us have peanut butter and graham crackers!"

"I know you loved that."

"Uh huh. I also wanna go back to Petey's for a cheeseburger. Do you think Uncle Steve and Aunt Annabel still there?"

"I don't know baby. I think when everyone got sick, Steve and Annabel had to leave like we did." The image flashed in my head while we walked. Steve becoming one of them, shuffling aimlessly with a small mob of them. His eyes were blank, his clothes were ripped, and the bright red bite mark glowed on his pale skin. His mouth opened, twisting, a small groan escaping from his mouth. Lucas had hurried to their house, but when he came back, I knew from his eyes Anabel was gone, too.

As Jesse talked about all the places he wanted to go back to, and all the people he wanted to meet again, I felt the hopelessness overpower me. Each person he named off, I knew they were dead. Our neighbors, with the little toddler girl- dead. Pete the mailman- dead. Mrs. Thomsen- dead. Dead, dead, dead.