To this day- FILLIE

I needed you

I needed you
2026
Finn's P.O.V

"Sooooo" i started, still looking at the floor, trying to avoid eye contact, i couldn't look her, not after all these years of trying to make excuses for her,
"Hi" she said, not sure if she was looking at me.
I looked up and she was looking at me, she looked at me with guilt and sympathy in her eyes, but it also looked like she had been hurt in the process.
"Millie.." I said trying to get straight to the point, she just continued to look at me with those eyes, those beautiful hazel eyes, the ones i saw all those years ago, "where the hell have you been? What the hell have you been doing? All these years?" I asked, raising my voice more than I should have been,
"Finn, look it's a long story, but i'm sorry, i'm really sorry," she said, tears prickling in her eyes,
"I have time, millie, I especially have time for an explanation for why the one person I trusted more than anyone else in the world just left me. I deserve an explanation Millie," i tried calming myself, but i didn't work, and I watched as tears start to stream down her, "look im sorry, I just want to know why, Why millie? Why did you leave me all these years alone to collect our award, I needed you there with me Millie, I needed you and you weren't there, I need you.'' I repeated, calming down. Millie sat down on the small sofa in the room,
"We all went our separate ways finn, i know we promised to talk everyday: and we did, we did for the first year and a bit, but you started to get so busy with all your movies and music, that you started to get too busy to text, yh we would still text but not as often, and then I tried for auditions, but i did not get any of them, and after a year of trying to get somewhere: I started to give up because my anxiety became bigger than ever and i needed you there but I knew it wasn't your fault, but I started to blame you for not being there to talk to, but it wasn't anyone's fault, and my mum started to notice something was wrong. There was something wrong, I had fallen into a pit of depression and i would isolate myself from everyone, i didn't want to talk to anyone, the only person I wanted to talk to you, and I made myself think that you were going to ignore me or just not care, even though I knew that wasn't true, i knew you cared about everyone more than yourself: but I convinced myself to just leave you alone and continue with your life, I didn't want to bring you down with me. It got so bad that nearly 3 years ago i was in hospital, recovering from a loss of blood, my mum found me unconscious, nearly dead, in my room. I only really started to recover at the start of the year, and I was getting better, but still had a bad state of mind. I tried really hard to overcome it, but its still there, it's always going to be there but I have found ways to cope. I was even ready to go to this years met gala, and see all you guys, but my mum found this photoshoot and it was on the day of the met. It was either the met or try to start up my career again. And obviously I obviously chose my career, and im sorry Finn, I am so sorry for not being there with you, and I thought, oh he's with sadie now, she will take care of you, but the other day, when i was watching it on TV I watched you, and i saw your eyes, and I could pretty much feel the anxiety you had shown, but I could see how desperately you had tried to hide it. I'm so sorry, but i needed you too," she finished, more tears spilling from her eyes , I was in shock, I didn't know what to say or how to feel, she nearly died. But does she still blame me? I don't know what to think, i loved her and i hated her because she wasn't there with me, but she was slowly dying and nearly dead. The only thing that I could say was "I'm sorry,"
"For what, I don't blame you, I just needed someone to blame" She said back
"Yh, but I should have still checked up on you," I said
"And you did, i just didn't respond, and you were busy and you became this great person and you are so successful" she defended me. She started to stand up, and as soon as she was up, I paced forward and wrapped my arms around her skinny body, and i felt her ug back, it felt nice, and comforting, and it made me remember everything. It made me realise how much I needed her.
But part of me still hated her for not even trying to talk to me about it.

Authors note: yh sorry, again i don't know what's really going on, I was trying to make it so Finn realises some more shit, but then i thought no that can wait for later. I didn't really know how Finn should have reacted to what millie said, i mean, as i'm awkward with things like that, i didn't know how to write it, I'm sorry its so bad, but i mean the other chapters should get better, I think. Thank you, enjoy. Xxxxxx