To this day- FILLIE

I'm okay.

I'm okay.
2018
Millie's P.O.V
Today was the day, today was the day I had to kiss jacob and posta picture on instagram.
We were on our way to the beach, jacob had his arm around me texting on his phone, he was probably texting some other girl, and to be honest i couldn't care less, he "cheated" on me a few months ago: but our agents told us to put it behind us and still date. I hate him, I can't stand him.
"Hey babe" he said,
"Yh?" I asked
"I love you." he said
"Love you too j," I said not meaning a word of it, it said it quite frequently, but I wasn't sure if he meant it or not.
He scares me. I just want to end it, it's not even a real relationship, not to me anyway.
He took his hand off from around my neck and placed it on my thigh and started creeping up, I didn't like it, I wanted him to stop, i wanted to yell at him and slap him in the face, but no i just shifted, and he stopped moving further up my leg, but he left his hand their. He does this a lot.

That made me think of the other night when i was round his, his parents were out and our agents wanted us to post a picture together we took a picture and I posted a few videos on my story of him listening to music and bobby his head on his bed, but i was sitting on his desk chair. I finished filming the video, put my phone down and started to draw on a scrap piece of paper.
A few seconds later i felt jacobs presence towering over me. He placed his hands on my shoulders and started to move them up and down my arms and he bent down and started kissing my neck, it felt awful, I hated it I wanted someone to walk into his room and stop him, and I knew if I said anything he would make it worse, he would hurt me, so I kept quiet. I let him continue kissing me, and I continued drawing, trying not to think of what might happen if this continues.
"Stop" he said harshly,
"What?" I asked, knowing what he meant
"Stop drawing and stand up" he commanded, I knew where this was going and i was only 14 i didnt want this, I didn't want this, but I stood up anyway, I heard my phone ding in the process
"Leave it," he commanded again, so i did, it wasn't important, he ushered me over to his bed and pushed me onto it, i fell back and he leant over me still kissing my neck. My phone dinged again and again,
"Leave it" so I did, but I desperately wanted to go get it and walks out of his house.
He continued kissing my neck, my phone dinged twice more and he kept telling me to leave it, i started to get fidgety, he started to move his hand up my leg, so I moved it, he got angry, he then tried to lift up my top, i felt a tear start to slide down my cheek, he started to lift my top a little more,
"Stop, jacob, stop!" I shouted, "please jacob, please stop" I pleaded, hoping he would stop but i knew he wouldn't more tears fell, i started to fidget a but more and stopped him from lifting my shirt anymore, 2 seconds after I felt a sharp sting on my cheek. He slapped me, he fucking slapped me. Tears were spilling from my eyes. My phone dinged 3 more times and a few seconds after it started to ring. I could see that jacob was annoyed at me for stopping him and my phone, he climbed off from me. Thank god, I tried not to rush as I picked up my phone: it was Finn. I answered it
"Hello?" I said, trying to hide the fact that I was crying
"Hey millie, i've been trying to get a hold of you but you weren't answering any of my texts"
"Oh yeah sorry i was busy," I lied, trying to contain my voice from breaking
"Hey are you okay?" Finn asked worried, of course he could tell, he always knew if I was upset
"Im okay." I responded again lying, "I'll talk to you later, bye" I finished the call.
"Who was that?" jacob asked angrily,
"My mum, she was checking up and wants me to come home," lying to him, trying to find any excuse for me to leave,  he looked angry
"Bye," I said as I walked out of his house and walked home, wiping away the tears.

That was the worst it had ever been, and I thank finn for saving me, even if he didn't know it.

We get to the beach and obviously there is no one their. Perfect, we take a picture where im on his back and we are both smiling. Fake smiles. We sat around waiting for it to get dark and our agents told us to climb onto this old wooden lifeguard tower and to kiss. I did not expect this, I thought we were just here to take photos of us having fun, I wasn't up for actually kissing him.
I could see Jacobs face, he was smirking, he wanted this. We climbed up onto the lifeguard stand and we kissed, all I had to do was act and that's my job and that's what I've been doing this whole time.
"Ready?" Rachel shouted
"Ready" i sighed
We slowly leaned in and our lips connected, it was disgusting his lips were disgusting, I've only ever kissed 1 person before him and that was Finn, at least he was nice to kiss, his lips were soft and I actually liked Finn, Jacob was a dick and I hated him, all I had to do was smile after kissing him and that's what I did.
"Perfect" Jacobs agent shouted
As soon as I heard that I stepped away, Jacob grabbed my arm, pulled me close enough to him that I could smell his disgusting breath,
"Where you going babe?" He asked
"Home," I said confidently, and I jumped down and got into my separate car to his, to go home.

I checked my phone and I had one message from Finn
Hey are you okay, you seemed upset the other day when I called you.
Yh I'm okay. Promise. See you soon Finnie❤️

Authors note: sorry, this chapter was honestly so bad, and I just don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going, this chapter was so bad and I know Jacob and millie broke up like a year ago I just needed something to write and I don't know what I'm doing and sorry if it made anyone feel uncomfortable and I know I made this look really bad because Jacob was technically only like 15 here but I mean it's a fanfic Jacob is always the bad guy in it and I just needed millie to have a bad story and a bad life with relationships. Anyway hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading xxxxx