Warning trigger warning!: may contain scenes of suicidal thoughts please read at your own risk!
In alexis's dream
"Collin?" I ask
"Hello alexis" he says in a deep demonic voice
"Your voice what happened to it?" I ask
"Don't worry about it" he says
"Umm okay" i simply say
"I miss you" he says
"I miss you so much collin" i say
"I know you do but I'm in a better place and you don't need me" he says
"Collin?" I ask
"I'm sorry alexis i had to go it wasn't fair to you" he says disappearing
"COLLIN! NO PLEASE COME BACK WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I LOVE YOU BROTHER" i say crying
End of dream
I wake up crying and saying Collin's name i grab my phone and call devin
"Hello?" He asks grugy
"Hi" i simply say
"Alexis? Are you crying?" He asks
"I am" i say through the tears
"What's wrong?" He asks
"I had a bad dream about collin" i say crying
"I'm sorry angel" he says
"Why? Why does it still hurt?" I ask
"Because he was your brother and bestfriend" he says
"Devin i can't do this anymore" i say grabbing a razor blade
"Alexis? What do you mean? If you don't anwser me I'm coming over" he says
I take the blade and cut my thigh "when does it end??" I ask through tears "THE PAIN NEVER GOES AWAY I CAN'T DO THIS!" I scream
"That's it I'm coming over" devin says hanging up
"Alexis?" Devin asks he notices my thigh and the blade "ALEXIS? WHY WOULD DO THIS?" he cries
"BECAUSE I CAN'T MISS HIM ANYMORE IT'S MY FAULT HE'S DEAD IF I ASKED HIM TO STOP DOING DRUGS HE WOULD HAVE!" i scream
Devin takes the blade and throws it away he grabs a rag wets it with cold water and wraps it around my thigh
"Alexis?" He asks
"What?" I ask
"I love you" he says
"I love you too you must think I'm crazy" i say crying
"No it's normal but you need help" he says
"Go with me?" I ask
"Yes I'll go with you I'm scheduling an appointment with a counselor tommrow" he says
I nod "okay"
"Alexis?" Collin asks
"COLLIN?" i scream
"Alexis it wasn't your fault you did tell me to stop but i didn't listen to you" collin says
"I feel so guilty i couldn't help you" i say crying
"Alexis you have so much to live for you have the amazing guy next to you your parents, friends i don't want you here not yet anyways" he says
"Hi collin" devin says
"Sup Devin?" He asks
"Collin? Would you ever say those things to me?" I ask
"You know i wouldn't it was a bad dream please protect yourself i love you Devin protect my sister please" collin begs leaving
"I will you have nothing to worry about" devin says
《Next day》
"Hello alexis I'm doctor christine" christine says smiling {please welcome christine from degrassi to my story :D}
"Hi" i say
"So tell me when you have these dreams how often do they happen?" She asks
"Not often but when they do happen they hit hard" i say
She nods "okay umm how bad do they get? Worse than this one?" She asks
"This one was the worst one he would never say those things to me" i say
She nods "okay so what did he say?" She asks
{I explain everything that happened in the dream and she listens quietly just letting me speak nodding to let me know she's listening}
"Okay that wraps up this session i wanna see you again in 2 weeks at 2pm?" She asks
"That's fine" i say
"Okay take it easy alexis" she says as we leave
A/N: this chapter was heavy and please if you have suicidal thoughts or behaviors please get help your skin isn't paper don't cut it your more than that and your special to someone please take care of yourselves and seek help or adivce from someone if you ever feel depressed,sad or suicidal you only get 1 go around make it count! See you in the next chapter
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rommies or more? 18+
Romancethis is the story of Alexis Jackson 20 year old college student she has her bestfriends ariana and camila by her side but will she fall for her jerk hottie roommate????
