Air Catcher |-/ Joshler ✓

7

tw//self-harm and suicide 
word count: 1161

it was noon when tyler woke up before josh and climbed out of bed, staring at the poor boy who looked so peaceful while he slept. tyler shook his head of the bad thoughts and went downstairs to make some lunch for the both of them.

tyler wasn't that good at cooking, so he just made a few grilled cheese sandwhiches and poured them two glasses of water. 

once the food was done, tyler ran back upstairs to his room and saw that josh was just starting to stir. he really hoped josh wouldn't be mad at him for seeing the scars, but tyler knew how he felt. he used to be the same when he was younger, but he found his purpose in life and stopped cutting. he's been clean for about 3 years now, and he was proud of his scars. they showed that he had his demons, and he was able to fight them and get passed them.

tyler knelt down beside josh's side and poked his cheek. 

"hey. hey you. wake up." he said quietly and poked his cheek again, causing josh to groan. "wake up joshie."

josh's cheeks went red when he heard the nickname tyler had given him and smiled before opening his eyes, his brown orbs meeting tyler's.

"m-morning." he said tiredly and yawned. his voice was dark and raspy, which tyler found pretty hot.

"more like afternoon. now get up. i made food. oh and..." tyler trailed off and looked at the ground. 

"wh-what?" josh asked and furrowed his eyerows. 

"uhm... listen, you can't get mad at me, josh."

"tyler, what d-did y-you do?"

tyler took a deep breath and met josh's eyes. "after you fell back asleep last night, you were really hot and you were sweating you i changed your clothes and put you in one of my old t-shirts and shorts." he said all in one breath, as josh's expression changed from confused to scared in a matter of seconds.

"y-you wh-what?" he said quietly and blinked away a few tears.

"josh please. i understand how you feel i used to do it too. you can't be mad at me. i won't tell anyone."

josh looked away and up at the ceiling. "c-can y-you g-give me m-my c-clothes?"

"josh-"

"p-please?" his voice cracked.

tyler sighed and nodded before getting up and grabbing josh's clothes and placing them at the end of the bed.

"i'll be downstairs." tyler said quietly and left the room, closing the door behind him.

josh sighed and let a few tears spill from his eyes. he didn't want tyler to see them, he didn't want him to know.

he sat up and removed the t-shirt off of his body, leaving it on the bed. he stood up and walked over to a mirror tyler had hanging on his closet door. 

he hated himself. he hated the scars and everything else about himself. he wanted to disappear so no one could look at him and silently judge him. he didn't want them to. but he could do nothing about it.

he walked away from his reflection and threw on his hoodie and jeans he was wearing yesterday, making sure everything was covered and no one could see his skin.

he made his way slowly downstairs and stopped at the bottom of the staircase, peering around the corner to see tyler, hunched over the kitchen counter, his back facing josh, but he could see him shake slightly, which meant he was crying.

josh silently walked over to the taller boy and wrapped his arms around him, resting his face on tyler's back. 

"i-i'm s-s-sorry." 

tyler stood up straight, sniffling a few times before turning around and looking down at the boy. his eyes were red and glossy, and his his cheeks were flushed with a bright red. he wiped his face before hugging josh tightly, josh immediately hugging back.

"you're not mad are you?" tyler asked hesitantly and sniffled.

"wh-why w-would i-i be m-mad?"

"because i saw them..."

josh hesitated before answering. "n-not a-as much as i-i th-thought i w-would be. i-i j-just never th-thought y-you'd end u-up s-s-seeing them." josh explained as best as he could. "wh-what d-did you m-mean wh-when you s-said you d-did it t-too?"

he looked up at tyler with sad eyes.

"i starting cuttin when i was 11. but, i eventually found my purpose in life and stopped doing it. i even tried to... commit suicide when i was 13... i took a handful of pills and passed out. my mom found me and rushed me to the hospital. my mom saved me and i couldn't have been happier." tyler looked away from the boy and sucked in a breath. the only person that knew about that was brendon. hell, jenna didn't even know about it.

"i-i'm glad sh-she found you a-and you s-survived th-that." josh said quietly and stood on his tip toes to kiss tyler's cheek. he smiled and kissed the top of josh's head. 

"i am too. now let's eat before the sandwhiches get cold. i worked hard to make them." tyler chuckled.

josh looked over and saw the plate of grilled cheeses.

"y-you're b-being dr-dramatic. it's grilled ch-cheese."

"exactly. that's like the only thing i know how to cook." 

josh giggled and shook his head. "n-next t-time, wake me u-up s-so i c-can m-make the f-food."

---

after the boys ate, they went into the music room and started working on their project. well, tyler wrote some lyrics while josh drew him.

"t-tyler, s-stop moving s-so m-much!"

"i can't help it josh. leave me alone." 

josh shook his head and smiled, staring at tyler. he wondered why tyler liked him. he didn't have a clue as to why. josh was ugly and fat, right? he had scars which didn't help him at all. he was dumb and couldn't even speak right because of his bad stutter. why the hell did tyler like him?

"i'm done." tyler smiled while holding up the lyric sheet.

"r-really? l-let me s-see." josh made grabby hands at the paper, causing tyler to laugh and get up, handing him the paper.

josh skimmed through the lyrics before smiling brightly. "th-these a-are s-so good! where d-did you l-learn to write l-like this?"

tyler shrugged. "i just use past experiences in my life and transfer them onto paper."

the song was really good, and josh couldn't wait to hear tyler sing them, and create the beat and music for it.

trees.